The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960
The three pie charts illustrate the switch in annual spending by regional authorities in
someland
Correct your spelling
some land
homeland
in 1980 and 1990, 2000
years
in
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
all three
years
higher
education
get
Wrong verb form
got
show examples
the best
percentage
in annual spending and every
ten
years
environmental services improved.
For instance
,Higher
education
in 1980year
get
Wrong verb form
got
show examples
the 35 per
cent
and the after
ten
year in 1990 higher
education
was improved to
ten
per
cent
,in 2000year the per
cent
was decreased to five per
cent
.
However
, Environmental services
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
improved every 10
years
.In the middle of 1980 and 1990
years
the
percentage
indicator
was improved by
1per
Correct your spelling
1 per
cent
,but in the middle of 1990 and 2000
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
indicator
was improved to four per
cent
. In comparison,other expenditure was worsened every
ten
years
.In
1980
Change the article
the 1980
show examples
year the
indicator
was six per
cent
,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
in
2000
Change the article
the 2000
show examples
year
Add a comma
year,
show examples
the
percentage
indicator
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
worsened to 1 per
cent
.
Most
Correct article usage
The most
show examples
volatile expenses
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
k-12
education
and health and human resources,
transportation
Correct word choice
and transportation
show examples
. the percentages fluctuated widely, and with each passing
decade
Add a comma
decade,
show examples
the percentages either improved or decreased.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Vocabulary: Replace the words years, education, percentage, ten, cent, indicator with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "improved" was used 6 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • renovation
  • expansion
  • modernization
  • facilities
  • departments
  • adjacent structures
  • patient care
  • medical technology
  • specialized centers
  • eco-friendly initiatives
  • initial layout
  • construction
  • extensions
  • improvements
  • community health services
  • capabilities
  • repurposing
  • developments
  • efficiency
  • upgrades
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