In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?

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In many public places all around the world, smoking is
ban
Wrong verb form
banned
show examples
and many
people
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think that it is a good idea.
This
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essay completely agrees with
this
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statement as it can reduce both the
number
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of smoking diseases related to passive and young smokers at the same time. Not allowing
people
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Use synonyms
smoke
Fix the infinitive
to smoke
show examples
in an open space is a good way to reduce the
number
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of second-hand
smokers'
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smoke
show examples
illnesses. It is a fact that non-smoking
people
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have
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
risk
to get
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of getting
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lung diseases rather than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
smoker
Fix the agreement mistake
smokers
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ones
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. It is because
while
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smoking
people
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have a filter on their
cigarrete
Correct your spelling
cigarette
cigarettes
to prevent some
dangerouse
Correct your spelling
dangerous
poison enter their bodies, the others absorb all the hazardous within the
ciggarete
Correct your spelling
cigarette
cigarettes
unfiltered. As an intriguing illustration,
Eventough
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even though
Indonesia is one of the biggest
ciggarete
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cigarette
production
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producers
show examples
in the world, the
number
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of patients having COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease) decreased dramatically after the government decided to ban smoking in parks, schools, public transport and
hopialss
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hospitals
hopeless
. Implementing the suggestion will prevent the children
to
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from smoking
show examples
smoke
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and
fall into
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falling
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sick, as well. A child can
mimick
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mimic
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their
parents
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parent's
parents'
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or other
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people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
acts without
has
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having
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no
Correct determiner usage
any
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control
to
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over
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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. If we compare
with
Correct pronoun usage
it with
show examples
the adults, the
cigarrete
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cigarette
,
however
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, is not
olny
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only
become
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becoming
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more dangerous, but
also
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it will be difficult for
thrm
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them
to quit
from
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apply
show examples
it.
For example
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,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the USA, the country
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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has the
higest
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highest
number
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of
malignances
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malignancies
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,
have
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has
show examples
experiencing
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experienced
show examples
a dramatical fall
of
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in
show examples
the
number
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of lung cancer in patients who
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smoke
Wrong verb form
smoked
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before 18 years old after the first black
precident
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president
,
Barac
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Barack
obama
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Obama
show examples
, created a rule to
smoke
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only in a smoking room areas. In conclusion,
create
Wrong verb form
creating
show examples
a regulation to not allow
people
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
smoke
Fix the infinitive
to smoke
show examples
in public areas is a
briliant
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brilliant
suggestion since it could prevent pupils and passive
smoker
Fix the agreement mistake
smokers
show examples
from getting
smoking related
Add a hyphen
smoking-related
show examples
illnesses
such
Linking Words
us
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
COPD and Lung cancer.
Submitted by lulukfuru on

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task achievement
Ensure to fully address all parts of the task question to achieve clearer and more comprehensive ideas in your response.
task achievement
Strengthen your arguments with more specific, relevant examples, possibly with additional supporting data.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay to improve the logical flow of ideas, using clear signaling words and cohesive devices.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing sentence structure and incorporating richer vocabulary to improve readability and depth of explanation.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states the main viewpoint and includes a thesis statement, indicating a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a conclusion that logically sums up the main points, reinforcing the argument presented in the introduction.
task achievement
The essay covers both the potential health impacts on non-smokers and children, which aligns well with the task response requirement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • secondhand smoke
  • prevalence
  • respiratory issues
  • environmental pollution
  • litter
  • healthcare costs
  • smoking-induced illnesses
  • encourage smokers to quit
  • public health improvement
  • justified
  • public spaces
  • exposure
  • non-smokers
  • inconvenience
  • younger populations
What to do next:
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