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Band 3.5

The plans below show the ground floor of a library in 2001 and how it was redeveloped in 2009.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #ground #floor #library #redeveloped #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The plans
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
 the developments of the ground floor
library
 between 2001 and 2009.
Overall
, the
library
 from 2001 has undergone tremendous changes after 8 years. Additional
tables
 and sections for various types of books were added
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
library
. In detail, in 2001, the librarian’s desk was in front of the entrance and the stairs on the lower right corner. The
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of the
library
 contained 8 small squared
tables
.
Additionally
, on the left side wall, there were two divisions of
book shelves
Correct your spelling
bookshelves
show examples
,
self-help
Correct article usage
a self-help
show examples
 corner and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stories about history.
Also
, it was near to the fictional books which is located in the northern part.
Lastly
, an individual can find newspapers and periodicals on the west wall. After less than a decade, the entrance and the stairs were still positioned in the same area.
However
,
pass
Wrong verb form
passing
show examples
 through the librarian
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
added two computers. The
tables
 were changed into a long rectangular type and beside these
tables
 was the Children’s area.
Fictional
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The fictional
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 area before was replaced by more
tables
 for the people.
Also
, it was noticeable that the two previous sections of books
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the left-side wall were divided into 6 shelves where people can search about history, fiction, self-help, kitchen, economics and law.
Finally
, on the west part was the place where films and DVDs were placed.
Submitted by cng123 on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and conclusion aspects, consider adding a brief conclusion to summarize the differences and changes in the library. This will help solidify your point and leave a lasting impression.
coherence cohesion
Improve the introduction by introducing the topic clearly and defining the time frames you will discuss so readers are fully oriented right from the start.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and details when discussing changes to improve clarity and ensure that the response fully addresses the task.
task achievement
The essay successfully identifies the main changes in the library from 2001 to 2009, providing a relevant overview.
coherence cohesion
The use of spatial descriptors like 'in front of the entrance,' 'left side wall,' and 'northern part' effectively guides the reader around the library’s ground floor plan.
coherence cohesion
The comparison between the two time periods is logically structured, showing changes over time which enhances the understanding of developments made.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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