Most people believe money is a very important consideration when chosing a job as it can help you get a better lifestyle; however, there are some believe it is more important to have a job you enjoy and that this, and not money, will lead to greater happiness and a more balanced personal life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Almost half of the
popluation
Correct your spelling
population
believe
that Correct subject-verb agreement
believes
money
plays a crucial role while
considering a Correct word choice
when
job
while
others think opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
of
Change preposition
apply
it
. Correct pronoun usage
apply
This
essay will explore both the
dimensions with rational explanations and concrete instances and shape Correct article usage
apply
up
my opinion on the matter by Change preposition
apply
end
.
On the one hand , people think Correct article usage
the end
good
package in Correct article usage
a good
job
is really important to live a better lifestyle . In Correct article usage
a job
this
contemporary era
it's really hard to survive without Add a comma
era,
money
,if you got
Verb problem
have
money
everyone will be around you . Nobody care
about you if you are broke even your family Change the verb form
cares
that is
the harsh reality of this
world . Moreover
, due to
rapid inflation prices of everything is sky rocketing
so for survival you need a Correct your spelling
skyrocketing
good earning
Add a hyphen
good-earning
job
.
On the other hand
, some people believe that money
is not everything you need Change preposition
for an
an
Change the article
a
job
which you enjoy to do
. Change the verb form
doing
For instance
, in a survey
it was found that 90% of people live longer and Add a comma
survey,
happy
Replace the word
happier
life
who Fix the agreement mistake
lives
enjoys
their work rather than working for only Correct subject-verb agreement
enjoy
money
. Moreover
,if a
employee is happy about the Change the article
an
job
progress of that company going to way higher or same like high paying companies .
In my opinion , I am little
more towards the Correct article usage
a little
high paying
jobs because Add a hyphen
high-paying
at
the end Change preposition
in
money
matters to live a peaceful and healthy lifestyle . If you got the wealth happiness will be wondering
around you .Correct your spelling
wandering
However
, peace at job
or doing a Add an article
a job
the job
job
you enjoy also
play
a significant role in Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
the
life .Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by jashanheir975 on
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task achievement
Improve the use of examples by incorporating more specific and detailed instances that support the points being made. This could enhance the depth and persuasiveness of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that there is a logical progression between paragraphs. This could improve the overall clarity and flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Clarify the presentation of your points; some sentences are not entirely coherent. Focus on sentence structure to make your ideas clearer and more easily understood.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument, which is crucial for a well-rounded response.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a nice structure and closure to the discussion.
task achievement
The arguments are generally well-supported with explanations, which helps in making a persuasive case for both perspectives.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.