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Writing Samples /
Band 3

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

#summarise #information #features #comparisons
The bar chart shows the proportion of different
age
 groups over
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
 three decades from 1990 to 2020.
Overall
, it is noticeable that the group of working
age
 (25-54) not only was the main group of the total
population
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 kept increasing over the period. The contrasts between
working
Correct article usage
the working
show examples
age
population
 and the rest became more prominent as time passed by. Different trends can be observed from
this
 chart. New babies and young children (0-14 years old) seemed to be kept around 15% over the period.
Similarly
, people who are within 10 years from their retirement (55-64 years old) hovered over 12% of the total
population
. The elderly
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
aged 65 or above accounted for less and less of the total
population
,
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 a constant decline
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
age
groups
Fix the agreement mistake
group
show examples
 can be detected. In conclusion, the
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
population
 did not concern the country, but more and more citizens entered into contributing forces
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the country's economy.
Submitted by wusiying2001 on

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elaboration
Expand on certain points to provide more detail and support for your conclusions. For example, explaining the implications of the increase in the working age population could add depth to your analysis.
data-inclusion
You can enhance your task response by including more specific data or percentages from the chart to strengthen your comparisons.
structure
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively frames the analysis of the data.
task
The main trends in the data are identified and comparisons are made where relevant, demonstrating a good understanding of the task.
clarity
The logical structure of the essay makes it easy to follow the writer's points, contributing to the reader's understanding.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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