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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the changing patterns of access to modern technology in homes in the UK (expressed in percentage terms). Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The graph below shows the changing patterns of access to modern technology in homes in the UK (expressed in percentage terms). Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
#patterns #access #technology #homes #uk #percentage #terms #information #features #comparisons
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The line chart illustrates the proportion of changing
pattern
Fix the agreement mistake
patterns
show examples
 of
access
Use synonyms
 to 4 types of modern
technology
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
CD
Use synonyms
player
Use synonyms
 and DVD
player
Use synonyms
 and Mobile phone and Internet connection in
home
Add an article
the home
a home
show examples
 from 1994 to 2008. In general,
accessing
Replace the word
access
show examples
 to all modern
technology
Use synonyms
 experienced an upward trend over the period, with
DVD
Correct article usage
the DVD
show examples
player
Use synonyms
 being the modern
technology
Use synonyms
 with the highest percentage of
access
Use synonyms
 at home in 2008. The percentage of
access
Use synonyms
 to
CD
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
 and Mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 always higher than
those
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
 of the other two modern technologies
however
Linking Words
 they
also
Linking Words
 experienced a similar trend.
While
Linking Words
 the figure for
CD
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
 rose from about 45% in 1994/95 to about 85 % in 2008, the figure for Mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 increased from about 18% in 1996/97to about 80% in 2008..starting at about 10% in 1998/1999, the proportion of
access
Use synonyms
 to Internet connection as a modern
technology
Use synonyms
 increased to about 65% in 2008.
Access
Use synonyms
 to DVD
Use synonyms
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
 started In 2002/03 from approximately 30%,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 figure rose dramatically to about 80% and continued
geniuenly
Correct your spelling
genuinely
 to peak at roughly 90% in 2008. Despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
,reading trends
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 spreads of
access
Use synonyms
 to
CD
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
 was more popular in those years.
Submitted by t.jenab on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words access, technology, cd, player with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 7 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Adoption rate
  • Accessibility
  • Trend
  • Decline
  • Plateau
  • Analysis
  • Compare
  • Technological advancement
  • Consumer behavior
  • Economic factors
  • Correlation
  • Percentage
  • Rapid increase
  • Initial percentage
  • Steady growth
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