Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that in many cities around the world there are constant traffic jams. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from owning cars?
Nowadays,the
number
of people using car
has been significantly increasing especially,in the Fix the agreement mistake
cars
last
three decades.Since car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
had been
developed,Wrong verb form
were
it
became one of the most popular methods of Correct pronoun usage
they
transportation
due to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
convenient
causing traffic jams.The following paragraphs will be discussed in detail as to whether Replace the word
convenience
this
is true and the solutions to this
problem.
It is true to say that traffic jams is
one of the major problems in many countries.Capital Change the verb form
are
cities
or the cities
which
people are crowded have suffered the most.Correct word choice
where
For instance
,in my city travelling in
three kilometres can take an hour to commute Change preposition
apply
in
rush hour.Change preposition
during
Consequently
,the incidence of transportation
accidents is a
clear evidence of Remove the article
apply
this
problem beacause
it has Correct your spelling
because
been
accumulated rapidly owning to Unnecessary verb
apply
growing
Add an article
the growing
a growing
number
of car
ownership
.
The ways to cope with Replace the word
owners
this
issue require multiple methods.Firstly
,in order to persuade car
users to take public transportation
,the government should improve this
system so that it is easily accessible and the price is affordable.Additionally
,Increasing the taxes of
Change preposition
on
car
purphases
and the taxes Correct your spelling
purchases
of
Change preposition
on
car
entering Fix the agreement mistake
cars
in
capital Change preposition
apply
cities
are also
beneficial pushing them toward public transportation
.Moreover
,expanding the civilization to nearby cities
resulting
in Wrong verb form
resulted
decreasing
Correct article usage
a decreasing
number
of housing residents which lead to decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
number
of cars.
To summarize,it can be seen clearly that car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
has
been Correct subject-verb agreement
have
rise
rapidly and Change the verb form
rising
risen
Correct article usage
the goverment
goverment
can deal with Correct your spelling
government
governments
this
problem by
multiple ways Change preposition
in
such
as improving
public Change preposition
by improving
transportation
,increasing taxes and expanding civilization.Submitted by chawanat.pla on
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task achievement
The essay provides a clear response to the task and effectively discusses the rise in car ownership and potential solutions. Ensure examples are more specific and relevant to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Try to develop some points further with specific examples or data, which will strengthen your response.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph develops a clear idea with supporting details for better coherence and cohesion. The essay is logically structured but make sure all main points are thoroughly supported.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repetition of phrases and improve variety in sentence structures to enhance readability and interest.
introduction
The introduction provides a clear overview of the topic and sets the stage for the discussion.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed, reinforcing the argument.
task achievement
The essay engages well with the topic and attempts to offer multiple solutions, showing a broad understanding of the issue.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay helps in guiding the reader clearly from introduction through to conclusion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example