In todays world, people spend a lot of money on appearance because they want to look younger. Why does this happen? Do you think this is a positive or negative development

#todays #world #people #money #appearance #happen #development

In the modern era, most citizens prioritize their

look

Fix the agreement mistake

looks

show examples

and appearance more than any other life aspect to seek youth again.Unfortunately,

this

phenomenon has become more prevalent currently.

However

, there are a lot of

standards

for

this

problem and I believe that the main reason is the spread of social media. Back in the period between the 18th to 19th-century

people

used

Verb problem

did

show examples

not consider their wearing as a major matter in their lives.

However

, over time it became an essential part of

people

's lives as your appearance determines your level in society.

On the other hand

, makeup is a significant cause as it has experienced a major development currently.

People

's desire for more beauty has increased

as well as

their need for

attention

Furthermore

, that enhanced the

standards

for

attention

as their brain became unsatisfied with normal compliments from humble humans and wanted to attract more wealthy

people

attention

. Social media have developed humanity

standards

significantly.

For example

, the most famous application in the world is Instagram and the main concept

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is that it shows photos or videos of

people

's happiness.

Therefore

, it may appear the individual's negative thoughts that their life is not satisfying and not happy as much as most humanity and that encourages them to pay more

attention

to looks. To solve that struggle, governments should improve the awareness of money spending and encourage citizens to reset their

standards

of beauty. In conclusion, appearance is not

crucial

Correct article usage

a crucial

show examples

matter and society should dedicate that effort to enhancing the education and economic statement in the country.

Submitted by ameralimise3 on Mon Oct 28 2024

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relevant specific examples

Try to provide specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, mention a social media influencer or a trend that exemplifies the desire to look younger.

logical structure

Make sure your paragraphs are clearly structured and coherent. Use linking words to connect your ideas more effectively. For example, use 'Moreover', 'Additionally', and 'In contrast'.

complete response

Although you mention solutions briefly, try to expand on them for a more comprehensive response. This will enhance your task achievement score.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction clearly states the issue of spending money on appearance, providing a solid start to your essay.

clear comprehensive ideas

You accurately identify social media as a contemporary influence on people's desire to look younger, which is a relevant and timely observation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

253 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Youthful appearance
Societal norms
Media influence
Self-esteem
Confidence
Professional competition
Health and wellness
Cosmetic enhancements
Medical technology
Anti-aging products
Invest in appearance
Beauty standards

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In todays world, people spend a lot of money on appearance because they want to look younger. Why does this happen? Do you think this is a positive or negative development

Fully explain your ideas

you have been offered a job overseas that you applied for. Write a letter to your friend who is already knows about that job as well. .Tell what kind of job it is .explain why you applied for this job .ask your friend about the country

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreighn language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

More and more people are using computers and electric devices to access information, therefore there is no need for printed books, magazines and newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Technology)

In many countries, people now wear Western-style dresses such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?