IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

1.Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Some people say that international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#tourism #industry #world #people #tension #cultures
Travelling abroad has been the most significant industry.
Although
 the reason for visiting other domains is communicating
people
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with people
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 who are from various cultural
backround
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background
backgrounds
,
according to
 many, it leads
conflicts
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to conflicts
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. I totally disagree with
this
 view because tours to different countries both
enhances
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhance
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 the economy of the country visited and
provides
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provide
show examples
 effective advertisement. In a world that has been globalised rapidly, borders are not
significant
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as significant
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 as they used to be. Trips to various regions of the world have been facilitated by fast transportation and economical accommodation options. In
such
 a context, travellers have been able to finance their desirable activities more
effective
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effectively
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 than ever.
This
 shift has contributed to the economy of visited countries massively. Consider Greece. Their 20% of income
closely
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is closely
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 tied to
tourism
Add an article
the tourism
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 industry.
Hence
, tourist activities are of paramount importance for particular cultures.
Furthermore
, even though some places in the world are astonishing, they are not renowned just
because
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because of
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 a lack of visiting.
This
 is where travellers take part. Owing to their explorations, we started to know peculiar places. It is a fact that the best advertisements are made by pleased people. Of course,
this
 development has been possible by social media and applications. Anchor Wat,
for instance
, in Thailand was not known a
couple
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couple of
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 years ago. Yet, thanks to enthusiastic
traveller
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travellers
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, we know that it has more than twenty
century
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centuries
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 of history. In conclusion, tourism
acitivities
Correct your spelling
activities
 are vital for particular countries on the grounds that,
while
 some of them are dependent on visitors, others are still waiting
for
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apply
show examples
to be explored.
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task achievement
Consider adding more counterarguments to present a balanced view and explore the topic in depth.
coherence cohesion
Ensure there is a clear transition between paragraphs to improve flow.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a complete response to the task.
task achievement
The examples provided are relevant and specific, successfully illustrating the main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural exchange
  • mutual understanding
  • economic boost
  • revenue generation
  • job creation
  • language barriers
  • cultural misunderstandings
  • stereotypes
  • preconceived notions
  • environmental degradation
  • friction
  • cultural erosion
  • local traditions.
  • customs
  • international visitors
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