children can learn effectively by watching television. Therefore they shoud be encouraged to watch television regularly at home and at aschool. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Waching
Tv
as an
impretive
Correct your spelling
impressive
imperative
route for
children
in order to learn
shold
Correct your spelling
should
be
cinsidered
Correct your spelling
considered
, which is
admited
Correct your spelling
admitted
admired
by some, including me.
While
the
opponent
Fix the agreement mistake
opponents
show examples
believe that its demerits conquer in many
aspect
Change to a plural noun
aspects
show examples
.
However
, both the profits and the dire consequences are negotiated here. Providing
appropiate
Correct your spelling
appropriate
Tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
programs for
children
by experts in one of the most highlighted radices that
children
shoud
Correct your spelling
should
be encouraged to pursue
Tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
shows that have
amed
Correct your spelling
named
their ages, which not only assist them to learn some personal
etiquets
Correct your spelling
etiquettes
etiquette
but
also
it is possible to fix some problems that they
usedto
Correct your spelling
used to
be encountered in
diofferent
Correct your spelling
different
aspects. To illustrate, if they did not know how they should make
connection
Fix the agreement mistake
connections
show examples
with others, now it
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
s feasible for them to learn it by being the audience of some
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
programs.
Furthermore
,
Tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
can help them to find their interest and their
potentials
Fix the agreement mistake
potential
show examples
in order to pursue them to enhance the probability of their flourishing. To make it more clear, they may
underestand
Correct your spelling
understand
some special
isuues
Correct your spelling
issues
better than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others and owing to that they would be attracted to those special subjects more than the others, which is
knowned
Correct your spelling
known
as their talent.
On the other hand
, some claim that it is possible to sacrifice the
children
if they follow some movies that are not proper for their ages,
whereas
it can be controlled specially by the professional channels that
are produce
Change the verb form
are produced
show examples
for
children
with special ages.
Besides
that addiction to
whatching
Correct your spelling
watching
Tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
is
the other
Fix the agreement mistake
another
show examples
reason that some argue that
children
should not
whatch
Correct your spelling
watch
Tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
. Indeed it as well can
be
Rephrase
also be
show examples
addressed by scheduling their times and considering some other
atteractive
Correct your spelling
attractive
interactive
hobbies,like
spotort
Correct your spelling
sports
sport
and hanging out, in their schedule. In conclusion,
While
some are of the notion that
children
should not be encouraged to watch
Tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
,in my point of view, its benefits,
such
as learning necessary issues
as well as
fixing their behaviours outweigh
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
many
dimentions
Correct your spelling
ways
.
Submitted by drpnima on

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task achievement
Try to clearly state your position at the beginning and ensure it's consistently supported throughout the essay. The reader should be able to easily understand whether you agree or disagree with the statement.
task achievement
Focus on developing your ideas more thoroughly. Use clear and specific examples to support your arguments, which will also contribute to a clearer presentation of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay into well-structured paragraphs, each with a single main idea. Ensure there is a logical progression between different points and paragraphs, and try using linking words to improve fluidity.
task achievement
You have successfully included both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a balanced perspective on the issue.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, framing the essay effectively.
task achievement
You've addressed the prompt by considering both benefits and drawbacks of children watching TV, which is essential for task response.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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