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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The tables show results of 2 surveys done in 1980 and 2010 on various aspects of city living in a particular city. Units are measured in percentage. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The tables show results of 2 surveys done in 1980 and 2010 on various aspects of city living in a particular city. Units are measured in percentage. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The data depict two surveys conducted in 1980 and 2010 on factors of city living in a single town. The number of good education and employment factors have increased,
whereas
Linking Words
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 and shops remain stable.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
health
Correct article usage
the health
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 and transportation sectors
are
Verb problem
have
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 declined.
Firstly
Linking Words
, good responses in education and employment aspects climbed up in 2010, from 72% and 62%
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 to 82% and 72%, respectively. Similar to those, bad responses in both areas rose up
into
Change preposition
to
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 9% and 23%,
doubled
Wrong verb form
double
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from
Change preposition
apply
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what it was in 1980. Moving on to the next aspects, environment and
retails
Wrong verb form
retail
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’ positive reactions remained stable between 1980 and 2010, which declined incrementally from 72% and 64%
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 to 71% and 60%, respectively. In comparison with previous factors, which were
occuring
Correct your spelling
occurring
 dramatic increase and steady state, health and transportation
happened
Verb problem
showed
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 a significant drop in positive responses from 82% and 52%
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 to 74% and 39%. Distinguished from the good
feedbacks
Fix the agreement mistake
feedback
show examples
, their neutral response
occurred
Verb problem
showed
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slight
Correct article usage
a slight
show examples
 increase
around
Change preposition
of around
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 5%
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 addition.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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