IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experiences and developing soft skill is more important. Discuss both view and give ur opinion

#university #education #job #hand #people #experiences #skill #ur
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Some
people
 argue that having a third education is the best way to get employed,
while
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 believe that practical experiences and advancing soft abilities
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 more vital. In my view, gaining
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
 would benefit more, because nowadays, everyone has
college
Add an article
a college
show examples
 diploma, the only feature that
differentiate
Change the verb form
differentiates
show examples
 more genius well-educated potential workers is
domenstrating
Correct your spelling
demonstrating
 skills. On the one hand, since
Correct article usage
the 20th
show examples
20th century
Add a hyphen
20th-century
show examples
 university diploma has become
quintessential
Correct article usage
a quintessential
show examples
parf
Correct your spelling
part
 of being
employee
Correct article usage
an employee
show examples
particularly
Add the comma(s)
, particularly
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 in specific areas like medicine and law.
For example
, doctors are significantly open-minded,
highly
Correct word choice
and highly
show examples
 trained or they devote their 15 years to education so that they can be better
doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
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 and earn higher
wage
Fix the agreement mistake
wages
show examples
, all thanks to Undergraduate and
Master
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Master's
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 or
PHD
Correct your spelling
PhD
 education. They are supposed to
be learn
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learn
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
every bit of humans or flora and fauna, because all discoveries and remedies
of
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for
show examples
 ailments are the results of doctor's high knowledge.
On the other hand
, today's policy requires
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
human kinds to be intelligent, well skilled and informative, not being nerd. In Marketing and up-to-date Technology,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies, traders and software engineers do not have to graduate from any institution
,
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apply
show examples
 but must have some needed practical skills
such
 as customer communication to have more sales or the function of programs like Java,
C++
Correct word choice
and C++
show examples
. Personally, practice makes perfect,
therefore
 now,
people
 should concentrate on going courses, which teach abilities in order to perform more realistic skills to companies that they have
potential
Add an article
the potential
show examples
 of broadening company's economy and politics. In conclusion, it is necessary to graduate from
colleges
Fix the agreement mistake
college
show examples
 for some
people
,
whereas
 others assume that experienced and skilled workers have more opportunities to have a job. In my opinion,
practiced
Change the spelling
practised
show examples
 employees are more prone to get awarded, cause in today's world, as all
people
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 diplomas, HR only focuses on ability performance and
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of internships.
Submitted by novruzluahmed2007 on

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task achievement
Make sure your main points are clearly and thoroughly developed to improve clarity and comprehension. This will strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Try to use more precise language and terminology, especially when discussing different industries and roles, to make your examples clearer.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structuring of your paragraphs by ensuring that ideas flow smoothly and coherently from one to the next.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion well.
task achievement
You provide an insightful opinion and justification in your conclusion, which contributes to a comprehensive response to the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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