Currently children have less responsibilities than they had in the past. Some say this is a good change, some argue that it has a negative effect on children. Discuss both views and give your opinion based on your personal experience.
Nowadays,the concept of duties is perceived differently in comparison with the past.For children, responsibilities are quite simplified
due to
the advance
Fix the agreement mistake
advances
of
Change preposition
in
technologies
.Some people consider that Fix the agreement mistake
technology
this
trend can harm children’s attitude
towards diverse activities.Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
However
, the
youngsters can benefit Correct article usage
apply
and
apply these changes Change preposition
from and
along with
modern
lifestyle.
On the one hand,Correct article usage
a modern
due to
the passing of the period,evolvement could gradually change their responsibilities.Meanwhile,some mandatory things remained the same,but mainly paper based
studying process changed to Add a hyphen
paper-based
doing
by computers.Change the form of the verb
do
For example
, studying with laptops can create an easy condition to prevent from losing or acquiring health problems,also
it will lead to gaining information which will help them in the future.ed they become as Consequently
,it is my belief that the simplified way of implementing basic things can foster them to fully enjoy their young adultsense
and ensure them to the positive outlook of life.
Correct your spelling
adult sense
adult-sense
On the other hand
,this
trend adversely affects their physical and psychological condition.They become lazy and many things start to give them with
huge difficulties.Change preposition
apply
For instance
,surviving in various situations becomes a huge challenge for them,because of the lack of their mental readiness.Hence
,they can be less encouraged and achieving detrimental results can be less accountable for them.
To sum up
, as life has been exposed to dramatic changes , children’s habits have also
been modified.Likewise
,with the assistance of equipment and innovative techniques
they view Add a comma
techniques,
their
implementation of their responsibilities Change the pronoun
the
more
superficial.Change preposition
as more
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task achievement
Try to expand on each of your main points with more detailed examples or explanations. This will help in making your arguments more convincing and comprehensive.
task achievement
Work on expressing your ideas more clearly. Some sentences appear a bit unclear, potentially causing confusion. Revisiting complex sentences and simplifying them could enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between your ideas to maintain the logical flow and cohesion of your essay. While many sections flow well, focusing more on linking ideas tightly will enhance coherence.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction provides a clear background of the issue and sets up the discussion effectively. Well done!
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion aptly summarizes the discussion, reinforcing your main arguments neatly.
task achievement
You have effectively addressed both sides of the argument, showing a good understanding of the topic's complexity.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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