IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Improvement in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer countries. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Health
Use synonyms
,
education
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 and
trade
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 are crucial for
Use synonyms
countries
Replace the word
a country's
show examples
 development. Some people argue that the governments of
richest
Correct article usage
the richest
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countries
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 should help to mitigate poorer
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nations
Change noun form
nations'
nation's
show examples
health
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,
education
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 and
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trade related
Add a hyphen
trade-related
show examples
 problems. In my opinion, I concur with
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint because a
country
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country's
show examples
 development plays
important
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an important
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 role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 global economic balance and
evironment
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environment
environmental
 issues reduction.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, all
countries
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 in
world
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the world
show examples
 are interdependent
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their needs and export-import process.
For example
Linking Words
, a large amount of rice
produced
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is produced
show examples
 by China and India located in Asia;
others
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other
show examples
countries
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such
Linking Words
America
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as America
show examples
 and Canada depend on these
countries
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 for rice import. Food is
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 and
soremost
Correct your spelling
foremost
 necessity of every individual.
Additionally
Linking Words
, Japan is considered
as
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 technology magnet, a myriad of
advancement
Fix the agreement mistake
advancements
show examples
 in technology are
realted
Correct your spelling
related
 to Japan. Conclusively, we can
says
Wrong verb form
say
show examples
 that
nations
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 are interdependent. And
health
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,
education
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 and
trade
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 in any nation
also
Linking Words
effect
Replace the word
affect
show examples
 others.
For instance
Linking Words
, if China and India are unable to produce adequate
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of rice for export;
then
Linking Words
 prices in other
nations
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 will increase. Goods and
crops
Change the noun form
crop
show examples
 production
contigent
Correct your spelling
depends
 upon
countries
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 native
peoples
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peoples'
people's
show examples
health
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, their marketing, and even
also
Linking Words
 on
education
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.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is
global
Correct article usage
a global
show examples
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 to support
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
nations
a nation
show examples
nations
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 for their economic balance.
Secondly
Linking Words
, issues pertinent to
environment
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the environment
show examples
 can be reduced by
combine
Change the verb form
combining
show examples
actions
Correct article usage
the actions
show examples
 of all
nations
Use synonyms
 in
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
.
Nowdays
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
, global warming is considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
unsolvable and the biggest
challenges
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challenge
show examples
 to all organisations and
countries
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. It cannot
be untangle
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be untangled
show examples
 by
involvement
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the involvement
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 of one nation; it is
united
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a united
the united
show examples
 process.
For example
Linking Words
, research conducted by the newspaper "The Guardian" suggests that
due to
Linking Words
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of collaboration of
nations
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,
green house
Correct your spelling
greenhouse
show examples
 effect is now
account
Wrong verb form
accounted
show examples
 as
unsolvable
Add an article
an unsolvable
show examples
 issue. If a
Use synonyms
nations
Change the noun form
nation
show examples
 is too poor to provide natural gases
such
Linking Words
 as CNG and LPG to their natives,
then
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the buring
show examples
buring
Correct your spelling
burning
burying
 of wood and coal
my
Correct your spelling
may
show examples
 cause
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 pollution which gives rise to green
house
Correct your spelling
greenhouse
show examples
 effect.
Therefore
Linking Words
, to
facilitates
Wrong verb form
facilitate
show examples
 solutions to
evironment
Correct your spelling
environmental
environment
 issues collaborative work of
nations
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 is of paramount importance. In conclusion,
Use synonyms
nations
Change noun form
nations'
nation's
show examples
 interdependence and equal role in
evironment
Correct your spelling
environment
 make every country to responsible for other
nations
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
,
richest
Correct article usage
the richest
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
 should take care of poorer
nations
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 in sectors
such
Linking Words
 as
Health
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,
education
Use synonyms
 and
trade
Use synonyms
.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a central idea that is clearly linked to your central thesis statement.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific and detailed examples or statistics to strengthen your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is clear and well-articulated, effectively setting up the topic and your view point.
logical structure
The essay presents logical connections between global economic interdependence and environmental issues, providing a broad perspective on the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Essential
  • Development
  • Poorer countries
  • Richer nations
  • Responsibility
  • Collaboration
  • Sustainable development
  • Financial aid
  • Technical support
  • Resources
  • Expertise
  • Empowers
  • Local communities
  • Self-sufficiency
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