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Band 4

Some people today believe that the world's increase in population is unsustainable and will eventually lead to a global crisis.Other people believe that world population is necessary and beneficial as it creates the growth of the world's economy and society. Discuss both views and give your option.

#people #world #population #crisis #growth #economy #society #option
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is
athletes
Change noun form
athletes'
athlete's
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 influence on
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation.It is undeniable that
athletes
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 become an essential part of our life.
However
 ,there is no absolute agreement on whether
athletes
 have
bad
Add an article
a bad
show examples
 or good influence on young people. A commonly held belief is that
athletes
 have only good
sides
.As evidence of
this
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this,
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 they point to discipline.
Furthermore
,
athletes
 popularize healthy
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
.It could be explained by the fact that sportsmen are usually disciplined people and they usually live a healthy life.It means that in general,
athletes
 keep fit by eating healthy food and doing sports.
As a result
,it leads to
conclusion
Add an article
the conclusion
show examples
 that they have only good
sides
.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 some people claim that there are certain bad
sides
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
athletes
 that may not make
a good role models
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good role model
good role models
show examples
 for
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
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 they may
mantion
Correct your spelling
mention
 that a very
big
Correct word choice
large
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 number of
athletes
 don't mind using harmful stuff
such
 as steroids and dopping and
other sort
Change the wording
another sort
other sorts
show examples
 of things.
In addition
,sports persons usually get injuries and some of the injuries may cause death.The explanation lies in the fact that there are many kinds of
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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 that are harmful.They are usually martial arts
such
 as boxing,wrestling and so on.
Therefore
, those bad
sides
 of sportsmen may really affect
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation in a bad way. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account I would argue that young guys should divide things into bad and good and take only good from them.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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relevant specific examples
Try to include more specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing and relatable.
logical structure
Focus on structuring your arguments logically. Ensure each idea naturally follows from the previous one, and use linking words to enhance the flow.
clear comprehensive ideas
Aim to develop your ideas more fully. While the main points are presented, more depth and detail would strengthen your essay.
introduction conclusion present
The essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, providing clear boundaries for your argument.
complete response
You address both sides of the argument, demonstrating a balanced view on the topic.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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