Some people feel that punishment should focus more on rehabilitation instead of long prison terms. Others feel prison terms are important for social stability. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
It is true that there are different opinions about
long
Add a hyphen
long-term
term
prison
penalties. While
some people support long-
Correct your spelling
long-term
term
prison
punishment
is
crucial for society, others believe punishments should consist more Correct your spelling
as
rehabilitation
rather Change preposition
of rehabilitation
then
imprisonment. Both Replace the word
than
argue
may be true in Replace the word
arguments
such
cases, however
I do believe Add a comma
however,
long
Add a hyphen
long-term
term
prison
punishment
is better
application for social stability.
On one hand, Add an article
a better
researchs
Correct your spelling
research
researches
researchers
indicate
that most of the Correct subject-verb agreement
indicates
criminals
have some mental diseases or they
are traumatized. Correct pronoun usage
apply
Thus
, they should be treathened
by doctors in Correct your spelling
threatened
treated
rehabilitation
centers. The more they take therapy, the more they may less
have a tendency to Correct quantifier usage
apply
such
crimes. Morever
, plenty of Correct your spelling
Moreover
rehabilitation
centers
teach Change the spelling
centres
criminals
different jobs such
as how to be hair-stylist, chef
, Fix the agreement mistake
chefs
driver
etc. Fix the agreement mistake
drivers
Furthermore
, they start work on these jobs after they finished
their time in Wrong verb form
finish
rehabilitation
and make contribution
to Add an article
a contribution
economy
.
Add an article
the economy
On the other hand
prison
penalty always
been a vital Add a missing verb
has always
punishment
to provide innocent’s
Correct article usage
the innocent’s
well-fare
. Because no one can Correct your spelling
welfare
gurantee
Correct your spelling
guarantee
criminals
won’t act like same after rehabilitation
. I have seen some news on television which show data about criminals
who had theafed
or killed someone etc. after taking therapy. Correct your spelling
chafed
cheated
Thus
, governments should continue to apply solid laws and long
Add a hyphen
long-term
term
imprisonment.
If this
penalty will
Verb problem
apply
goes
on, more people will feel safe including Change the verb form
go
childen
, Correct your spelling
children
Correct word choice
and woman
woman
who Fix the agreement mistake
women
have
Change the verb form
has
to
extra protection.
In conclusion, Change preposition
apply
although
rehabilitation
for criminals
has some benefits in some aspects, long
Add a hyphen
long-term
term
prison
punishment
is the only way for
invest Change preposition
to
social
life. I believe Change preposition
in social
criminals
should be isolated from society via prison
penalties.Submitted by aslikaratepe00 on
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Coherence
Enhance coherence by using more varied linking phrases and conjunctions to guide the reader through your arguments. This will improve the flow between paragraphs and within them.
Task Response
Focus on providing specific examples and data to support your points. This could include real-world statistics or further elaboration on the examples already mentioned, like specific rehabilitation programs.
Conclusion
Strengthen your conclusion by reiterating your main points and offering a final thought or implication of your argument for broader society.
Task Response
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both perspectives on the issue of punishment and rehabilitation.
Introduction and Conclusion
Clear introduction and conclusion which frame the essay well and clarify the writer's viewpoint.
Coherence and Cohesion
Solid organization of ideas with each paragraph serving a clear purpose in argument development.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.