Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working on charity, teaching sport to younger people) To what extent do you agree or disagree?

One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is
financial
Add an article
the financial
show examples
situation of
students
. Now people are beginning to realize that financial status is now the most important thing for
students
to achieve their goals
such
as education and
create
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a quality of life.
Firstly
, it is well known that schools need to teach
students
how to save
money
and use it correctly. One of the main reasons is that all over the world, everything necessary for a quality life is very expensive. A good example is higher education. After graduating from high school,
students
should continue to study at universities to obtain an education and become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
specialist
Fix the agreement mistake
specialists
show examples
in their field.
However
, the price of studying at all universities in the world is unrealistically expensive. If
students
learn to save
money
, it will benefit them in the future.
On the other hand
, it can
also
be argued that by learning how to survive financially, they appreciate the work of their parents and know that finances are not easy.
For example
, when
students
start working on their own, they start saving
money
and buying the basic necessities they need, rather than acting like they used to when they were children.
That is
,
students
feel the importance of finances and the work of parents for their children is infinitely valuable. in conclusion, taking everything mentioned into
accounted
Change the form of the verb
account
show examples
in our final analysis we can say that teaching financial knowledge in school should be a necessary part so that
students
know the essential aspects of life related to
money
. By studying savings they begin to make contributions for the future.
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task achievement
Ensure that your essay directly addresses the given task. The provided essay seems to miss the core topic about unpaid community service and focuses more on financial management. Realign your arguments to discuss the role of compulsory unpaid community service in high schools.
task achievement
Enhance the use of specific examples and evidence to bolster your arguments. The essay could benefit from specific examples relating to how unpaid community service could impact students differently.
coherence cohesion
Improve the introduction and conclusion so that they clearly outline and summarize your position on the topic. Introduce the topic more precisely and ensure the conclusion ties back to the argument.
task achievement
Your ideas about financial education reflect a thoughtful approach to student challenges today, demonstrating strong analytical skills.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured with paragraphs dedicated to specific points which helps in maintaining coherence.

Your opinion

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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