Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working on charity, teaching sport to younger people) To what extent do you agree or disagree?
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is
financial
situation of Add an article
the financial
students
. Now people are beginning to realize that financial status is now the most important thing for Use synonyms
students
to achieve their goals Use synonyms
such
as education and Linking Words
create
a quality of life.
Verb problem
apply
Firstly
, it is well known that schools need to teach Linking Words
students
how to save Use synonyms
money
and use it correctly. One of the main reasons is that all over the world, everything necessary for a quality life is very expensive. A good example is higher education. After graduating from high school, Use synonyms
students
should continue to study at universities to obtain an education and become Use synonyms
a
good Correct article usage
apply
specialist
in their field. Fix the agreement mistake
specialists
However
, the price of studying at all universities in the world is unrealistically expensive. If Linking Words
students
learn to save Use synonyms
money
, it will benefit them in the future.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, it can Linking Words
also
be argued that by learning how to survive financially, they appreciate the work of their parents and know that finances are not easy. Linking Words
For example
, when Linking Words
students
start working on their own, they start saving Use synonyms
money
and buying the basic necessities they need, rather than acting like they used to when they were children. Use synonyms
That is
, Linking Words
students
feel the importance of finances and the work of parents for their children is infinitely valuable.
in conclusion, taking everything mentioned into Use synonyms
accounted
in our final analysis we can say that teaching financial knowledge in school should be a necessary part so that Change the form of the verb
account
students
know the essential aspects of life related to Use synonyms
money
. By studying savings they begin to make contributions for the future.Use synonyms
Submitted by dnm.best on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Ensure that your essay directly addresses the given task. The provided essay seems to miss the core topic about unpaid community service and focuses more on financial management. Realign your arguments to discuss the role of compulsory unpaid community service in high schools.
task achievement
Enhance the use of specific examples and evidence to bolster your arguments. The essay could benefit from specific examples relating to how unpaid community service could impact students differently.
coherence cohesion
Improve the introduction and conclusion so that they clearly outline and summarize your position on the topic. Introduce the topic more precisely and ensure the conclusion ties back to the argument.
task achievement
Your ideas about financial education reflect a thoughtful approach to student challenges today, demonstrating strong analytical skills.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured with paragraphs dedicated to specific points which helps in maintaining coherence.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?