IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working on charity, teaching sport to younger people) To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays modern
technologies
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replaces
Change the verb form
replace
show examples
 children’s regular
days
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 and how they spend their
days
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. Current
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childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 spend
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
days
Use synonyms
 with
gadgets
Use synonyms
 —
for
Linking Words
instance
Add the comma(s)
instance,
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 phones, tablets. Watching different videos
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 YouTube
or
Correct word choice
apply
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scrolling videos, play mobile games. One of the reasons
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 spending their
days
Use synonyms
 with
gadgets
Use synonyms
 is
influence
Fix the infinitive
to influence
show examples
 older
peoples
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people
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, members of
family
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the family
a family
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,
teachers
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and teachers
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. Because
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childrens
Correct your spelling
children
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is
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are
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learning from adults and interesting in
theys
Correct your spelling
these
 habits.
Besides
Linking Words
, kids
likes
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like
show examples
 knowing something, trying to
be known
Wrong verb form
know
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 new trends etc. The second cause is our century.
In now
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Now
show examples
 our
lifes
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lives
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depends
Correct subject-verb agreement
depend
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 on technology, so it that why
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 and kids trying to develop
themselfs
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
 and adaption to technology. Infuens
gadgets
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technologies
Use synonyms
 can give more opportunity to develop yourself and
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
.
Learnig
Correct your spelling
Learning
 something useful and new.It can give new
start
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starts
show examples
 and
technologies
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 in future.
But
Correct word choice
On
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on the other hand
Linking Words
, modern
technologies
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,
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gadgets
Correct word choice
and gadgets
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 give
addictionals
Correct your spelling
addicts
 and make
theirs
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
healthy
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health
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 worse.
For example
Linking Words
,
give
Verb problem
apply
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autism, ADHD, mental problems and other
problem
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problems
show examples
 with health.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 habits influenced
to
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apply
show examples
their
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
.
Gadgets
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 might give bad sides
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
psychology
Add an article
the psychology
show examples
 of kids. Be
accordingly
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
reasons might
make
Verb problem
cause
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 social problems — not
have
Wrong verb form
having
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 friends and
don’t
Verb problem
not
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communicati
Correct your spelling
communicating
 with other
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childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 in school or with close people. It is
really
Add an article
a really
show examples
 serious problem in our
days
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 and parents,
teachers
Correct word choice
and teachers
show examples
 need to fix
this
Linking Words
issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
show examples
 for the future of
Use synonyms
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
. Adults need to teach about
Correct article usage
the damages
show examples
damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage
show examples
 and consequences
Use synonyms
technologies
Change preposition
of technologies
show examples

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coherence and cohesion
Try to make your introduction clearer by stating your opinion directly. Also, summarize your main points in the conclusion.
task achievement
Use more examples to support your points. For example, mention specific health issues caused by too much screen time.
coherence and cohesion
Check your spelling and grammar. Words like 'children', 'learning', and 'influence' should be corrected for better clarity.
task achievement
Try to develop each idea more fully to help the reader understand your points better.
task achievement
You have good ideas about the effects of technology on children.
task achievement
Your points about addiction and health issues are important and relevant.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • unpaid community service
  • compulsory
  • high school programs
  • charity work
  • social responsibility
  • empathy
  • teamwork
  • leadership skills
  • personal development
  • civic participation
  • engagement
  • motivation
  • academic performance
  • life skills
  • burden
  • enforcement
  • privilege
  • citizenship
  • volunteer work
  • community needs
What to do next:
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