Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working on charity, teaching sport to younger people) To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programs #charity #sport

One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is

financial

Add an article

the financial

show examples

situation of

students

. Now people are beginning to realize that financial status is now the most important thing for

students

to achieve their goals

such

as education and

create

Verb problem

apply

show examples

a quality of life.

Firstly

, it is well known that schools need to teach

students

how to save

money

and use it correctly. One of the main reasons is that all over the world, everything necessary for a quality life is very expensive. A good example is higher education. After graduating from high school,

students

should continue to study at universities to obtain an education and become

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good

specialist

Fix the agreement mistake

specialists

show examples

in their field.

However

, the price of studying at all universities in the world is unrealistically expensive. If

students

learn to save

money

, it will benefit them in the future.

On the other hand

, it can

also

be argued that by learning how to survive financially, they appreciate the work of their parents and know that finances are not easy.

For example

, when

students

start working on their own, they start saving

money

and buying the basic necessities they need, rather than acting like they used to when they were children.

That is

students

feel the importance of finances and the work of parents for their children is infinitely valuable. in conclusion, taking everything mentioned into

accounted

Change the form of the verb

account

show examples

in our final analysis we can say that teaching financial knowledge in school should be a necessary part so that

students

know the essential aspects of life related to

money

. By studying savings they begin to make contributions for the future.

Submitted by dnm.best on Mon Nov 04 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that your essay directly addresses the given task. The provided essay seems to miss the core topic about unpaid community service and focuses more on financial management. Realign your arguments to discuss the role of compulsory unpaid community service in high schools.

task achievement

Enhance the use of specific examples and evidence to bolster your arguments. The essay could benefit from specific examples relating to how unpaid community service could impact students differently.

coherence cohesion

Improve the introduction and conclusion so that they clearly outline and summarize your position on the topic. Introduce the topic more precisely and ensure the conclusion ties back to the argument.

task achievement

Your ideas about financial education reflect a thoughtful approach to student challenges today, demonstrating strong analytical skills.

coherence cohesion

The essay is logically structured with paragraphs dedicated to specific points which helps in maintaining coherence.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working on charity, teaching sport to younger people) To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people like to eat in restaurants and at foodstands, others like to eat at home. Which do you prefer? Give reasons and examples to support your choice.

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

homelessness is increasing in many major cities around the world. what do you think are the main causes of this problem and what measures can be taken to solve it?