Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working on charity, teaching sport to younger people) To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays modern

technologies

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replaces

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replace

show examples

children’s regular

days

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and how they spend their

days

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. Current

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childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

spend

they

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

days

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with

gadgets

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—

for

Linking Words

instance

Add the comma(s)

instance,

show examples

phones, tablets. Watching different videos

Change preposition

show examples

YouTube

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

scrolling videos, play mobile games. One of the reasons

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for

show examples

spending their

days

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with

gadgets

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influence

Fix the infinitive

to influence

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older

peoples

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people

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, members of

family

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the family

a family

show examples

teachers

Correct word choice

and teachers

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. Because

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childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

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are

show examples

learning from adults and interesting in

theys

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these

habits.

Besides

Linking Words

, kids

likes

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show examples

knowing something, trying to

be known

Wrong verb form

know

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new trends etc. The second cause is our century.

In now

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Now

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our

lifes

Correct your spelling

lives

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depends

Correct subject-verb agreement

depend

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on technology, so it that why

peoples

Fix the agreement mistake

people

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and kids trying to develop

themselfs

Correct your spelling

themselves

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and adaption to technology. Infuens

gadgets

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technologies

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can give more opportunity to develop yourself and

future

Correct article usage

the future

show examples

Learnig

Correct your spelling

Learning

something useful and new.It can give new

start

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starts

show examples

and

technologies

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in future.

But

Correct word choice

show examples

on the other hand

Linking Words

, modern

technologies

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gadgets

Correct word choice

and gadgets

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give

addictionals

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addicts

and make

theirs

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

healthy

Replace the word

health

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worse.

For example

Linking Words

give

Verb problem

apply

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autism, ADHD, mental problems and other

problem

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problems

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with health.

Linking Words

Also

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Also,

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Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

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habits influenced

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apply

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their

behaviors

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behaviours

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Gadgets

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might give bad sides

for

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show examples

psychology

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the psychology

show examples

of kids. Be

accordingly

Linking Words

such

Linking Words

Change preposition

apply

show examples

reasons might

make

Verb problem

cause

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social problems — not

have

Wrong verb form

having

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friends and

don’t

Verb problem

not

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communicati

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communicating

with other

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childrens

Correct your spelling

children

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in school or with close people. It is

really

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a really

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serious problem in our

days

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and parents,

teachers

Correct word choice

and teachers

show examples

need to fix

this

Linking Words

issues

Fix the agreement mistake

issue

show examples

for the future of

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childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

. Adults need to teach about

Correct article usage

the damages

show examples

damages

Fix the agreement mistake

damage

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and consequences

Use synonyms

technologies

Change preposition

of technologies

show examples

dnm.best

Nov 4, 2024

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coherence and cohesion

Try to make your introduction clearer by stating your opinion directly. Also, summarize your main points in the conclusion.

task achievement

Use more examples to support your points. For example, mention specific health issues caused by too much screen time.

coherence and cohesion

Check your spelling and grammar. Words like 'children', 'learning', and 'influence' should be corrected for better clarity.

task achievement

Try to develop each idea more fully to help the reader understand your points better.

task achievement

You have good ideas about the effects of technology on children.

task achievement

Your points about addiction and health issues are important and relevant.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
50
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

226 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

unpaid community service
compulsory
high school programs
charity work
social responsibility
empathy
teamwork
leadership skills
personal development
civic participation
engagement
motivation
academic performance
life skills
burden
enforcement
privilege
citizenship
volunteer work
community needs

What to do next:

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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working on charity, teaching sport to younger people) To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries government are investing in new technology to deal with the public? Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government university?

Some people believe that car-free days are effective ways to reduce air pollution. However, others argue that there are other ways that are more effective. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Employers should focus on personality rather than qualifications and experience when choosing someone to work. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that children are given too much free time.They feel that this time should be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend their time?