IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working on charity, teaching sport to younger people) To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 some believe that
only
Correct article usage
the only
show examples
 reason for studying
additional
Correct article usage
an additional
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 is to get employed in a foreign country or travelling,
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 half argue that there is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
room for other justifications. On the one hand, indeed living or travelling abroad requires knowledge of
second
Correct article usage
a second
show examples
language
Use synonyms
. After all,
national
Add an article
the national
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 of
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 where people
travelled
Wrong verb form
travel
show examples
 is mostly spoken among
native
Add an article
the native
show examples
 community. Even though in
this
Linking Words
 country
mostly
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
 people speak on popular
language
Use synonyms
 like
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
English,
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 should
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
know its national
language
Use synonyms
 to respect their culture and freely communicate.
In addition
Linking Words
,
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 who
speaks
Correct subject-verb agreement
speak
show examples
 in more languages,
likely
Add a missing verb
are likely
show examples
 to get a highly paid job. With the rise in globalization and job infrastructure,
significance
Add an article
the significance
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 reason only increases.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
language
Use synonyms
 is a momentous part of any culture
moreover
Linking Words
 higher education institutions mostly appreciate awareness of
national
Correct article usage
the national
show examples
language
Use synonyms
. Exchange in cultures
vital
Add a missing verb
is vital
show examples
 experience which can provide a lot of insights. With
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 new insights person can boost self-skills, enhance
horizon
Correct pronoun usage
their horizon
his horizon
her horizon
show examples
 and develop
worldview
Add an article
a worldview
show examples
.
Besides
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, numerous institutes only furnish full grants if
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
maintained
Wrong verb form
maintain
show examples
 additional
language
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account I would argue that being aware of
foreign
Correct article usage
a foreign
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 massive plus in
this
Linking Words
 modern world,
also
Linking Words
 there are a lot of reasons to
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
 it, and reasons vary
due to
Linking Words
 individual.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your introduction could be clearer by directly stating your opinion on whether you agree or disagree with the topic. This will help set the tone for your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Try to ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the ideas flow logically from one to another. Using linking phrases would help improve the coherence of your essay.
task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support your points. This will help to strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
task achievement
You have made a good attempt to address both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced view on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your vocabulary is varied, which adds to the overall quality of the writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • unpaid community service
  • compulsory
  • high school programs
  • charity work
  • social responsibility
  • empathy
  • teamwork
  • leadership skills
  • personal development
  • civic participation
  • engagement
  • motivation
  • academic performance
  • life skills
  • burden
  • enforcement
  • privilege
  • citizenship
  • volunteer work
  • community needs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: