IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many large cities, people waste hours of their time every day because of traffic congestion on the road. What are the causes of this, what solution can you suggest

Needless to say
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,
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traffic
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congestion
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 wreaks havoc not only on developed countries but
also
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 on third-party nations which has led to a catastrophic scenario caused by infinite reasons which conjoint to add insult to injury.
This
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 essay is going to outline the causes and solutions to minimise
traffic
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congestion
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 before coming to
the
Correct article usage
a
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 final conclusion. The paramount
causuation
Correct your spelling
cause
 behind
traffic
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congestion
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 is nothing but an increasing number of private
vehicles
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such
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 as cars,
bikes
Correct word choice
and bikes
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. To comprehend
this
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 point, here is a definitive illustration,
people
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 rely on private
vehicles
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 for work, and college which creates a lot of
traffic
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 on the
road
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 , especially during peak hours.
Another
Correct quantifier usage
Other
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 infamy root is construction work,
road
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 closures, and
road
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accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
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 which
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also
Add a missing verb
are also
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 one of
Add an article
the reason
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reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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of
Change preposition
for
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traffic
Use synonyms
congestion
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.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
due to
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 poor infrastructure
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road
Correct word choice
and road
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 construction,
people
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struck
Add a missing verb
are struck
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on
Change preposition
by
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traffic
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. To epiotimize the current statement we can say that, rogers communication stadium
on
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in
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toronto
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Toronto
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, usually event
happened
Wrong verb form
happens
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 on weekly
basics
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basis
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,
Correct word choice
and alot
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alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
people
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comes
Correct subject-verb agreement
come
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 from various provinces by their
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vehicles
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicle
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.
Due to
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inaqueate
Correct your spelling
inadequate
traffic
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 management, creates
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
traffic
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congestion
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,
people
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 struck in
traffic
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 for several hours.
Thus
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,
due to
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 the
above mentioned
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above-mentioned
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 reasons is majorly affected. Steps to deal with
this
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 problem are many but the most significant ones are not complicated but practical and accessible.
Besides
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, the government should provide public transportation facilities 24/7 which minimises the usage of private
vehicles
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.
Furthermore
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, the government should provide information to the public by mobile notification about
road
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 closures, construction work and
road
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 accidents so that
people
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 use another alternate
roadroad
Correct your spelling
road
 which avoid
traffic
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congestion
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 on the
road
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.
Thus
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, the above steps are taken appropriately, and
this
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 problem may find a solution. In recapitulation,
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this
Correct pronoun usage
these
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 causes need attention and action to protect the planet from air pollution.
Its
Replace the word
It's
It is
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 not plausible not enforcing or enacting the law. It should be
mean
Verb problem
apply
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done by educating
people
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 about nasty
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
.

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task achievement
While the response covers some relevant causes and solutions for traffic congestion, more specific examples and data could strengthen the argument. Adding relevant statistics or case studies from cities known for traffic congestion would enhance the response.
task achievement
The ideas are generally clear but could benefit from clearer organization. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea or cause and solution. For example, dedicate one paragraph fully to causes and another entirely to solutions.
coherence cohesion
The essay could be improved by using more cohesive devices to better link sentences and ideas. Words like 'moreover', 'in addition', and 'consequently' can help better transition between points.
coherence cohesion
Although the essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, refining the introduction to clearly state the main points to be discussed would help set the context for the reader. Similarly, the conclusion could encapsulate the main solutions discussed.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which help structure the response well.
task achievement
The respondent identifies multiple causes and corresponding solutions for traffic congestion, demonstrating a good understanding of the task.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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