Many things that used to be done in the house by hand, are now being done by machines, Does this development brings more advantages or disadvantages?

#house #hand #machines #development

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Nowadays, advancing technology,

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

provided

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cutting-edge devices which help

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people to do housework without hands that to be done by hand

previously

Rephrase

apply

show examples

For instance

, a robot

vaccume

Correct your spelling

vacuum

, a

dish washer

Correct your spelling

dishwasher

show examples

and so on.

However

Add a comma

However,

show examples

there are both pros and cons. In

this

essay, I will discuss some of the reasons why these machines have

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

potential benefits and some challenges

could

Correct pronoun usage

that could

show examples

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

happend

Correct your spelling

happened

happen

. Let's begin by looking at the advantages, the first one is

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

time-saving which is one of the most significant

asset

Change to a plural noun

assets

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in our whole

human-life

Correct your spelling

human life

show examples

and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people should manage it properly.

Correct pronoun usage

There

show examples

is no doubt that these machines are labour-saving so they assist

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

individuals to put their time

Change preposition

into

show examples

urged

task

Fix the agreement mistake

tasks

show examples

rather

Correct word choice

than houseworking

show examples

houseworking

Correct your spelling

house working

housework

Seccondly

Correct your spelling

Secondly

, they bring a convenience for us,

insted

Correct your spelling

instead

of working at home,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

individuals are able to relax and chill out on a sofa after

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

demanding

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

Also

this

sense of

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

convenient

Replace the word

convenience

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and

a comfortable

Replace the word

comfort

show examples

increase

Correct subject-verb agreement

increases

show examples

occupation efficiency notably. Turning to

other

Correct article usage

the other

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side of the argument, admittedly, they create issues that have not been in the past

such

as overusing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

energy that could

Verb problem

have

show examples

negative

Add an article

a negative

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impact on the future. All of

these product

Change the determiner

this product

these products

show examples

are electric which intake electricity

morely

Correct your spelling

merely

Thus

, the environment may be

damage

Wrong verb form

damaged

show examples

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

this

way seriously. Another problem is

price

Add an article

the price

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of these ones that generally are high and when new products

introduces

Wrong verb form

are introduced

show examples

, the people

interested

Add a missing verb

are interested

show examples

to upgrade

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in upgrading

show examples

that ones

Change the determiner

that one

those ones

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rapidly. these

fashonable

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fashionable

trends tend to

spending

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spend

show examples

a lot of money or even

using

Wrong verb form

use

show examples

saving

Fix the agreement mistake

savings

show examples

. All things

concidered

Correct your spelling

considered

, undoubtedly, we can not set aside

these production

Change the determiner

this production

these productions

show examples

this

modern world and fight against tech

product

Fix the agreement mistake

products

show examples

. From my

Correct your spelling

perspective

prespective

Add a comma

prespective,

show examples

we should accept them with all their benefits and drawbacks and try to manage better our money and energy.

Submitted by mahyarnaseri on Mon Nov 04 2024

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coherence cohesion

Strive for a clearer logical progression by using a variety of linking words throughout the essay. This will help create smoother transitions and enhance the flow.

task achievement

The essay addresses the question and presents relevant points. However, adding more specific examples would strengthen the argument and make it more convincing.

task achievement

Ensure your ideas are consistently clear and easy to follow by avoiding overly complex sentence structures. Simplify where possible to improve clarity.

coherence cohesion

The essay presents a well-structured introduction and a logical conclusion, effectively framing the discussion of both advantages and disadvantages.

task achievement

The response effectively covers the question prompt by discussing both benefits and drawbacks of modern household machines, demonstrating an understanding of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
53
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

295 words

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Many things that used to be done in the house by hand, are now being done by machines, Does this development brings more advantages or disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

IELTS 15 Test4 In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cell phone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.