Many things that used to be done in the house by hand, are now being done by machines, Does this development brings more advantages or disadvantages?
Nowadays, advancing technology,
have
provided Correct subject-verb agreement
has
the
cutting-edge devices which help Correct article usage
apply
the
people to do housework without hands that to be done by handCorrect article usage
apply
previously
. Rephrase
apply
For instance
, a robot vaccume
, a Correct your spelling
vacuum
dish washer
and so on. Correct your spelling
dishwasher
However
there are both pros and cons. In Add a comma
However,
this
essay, I will discuss some of the reasons why these machines have the
potential benefits and some challenges Correct article usage
apply
could
Correct pronoun usage
that could
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
happend
.
Let's begin by looking at the advantages, the first one is Correct your spelling
happened
happen
a
time-saving which is one of the most significant Correct article usage
apply
asset
in our whole Change to a plural noun
assets
human-life
and Correct your spelling
human life
the
people should manage it properly. Correct article usage
apply
It
is no doubt that these machines are labour-saving so they assist Correct pronoun usage
There
the
individuals to put their time Correct article usage
apply
on
urged Change preposition
into
task
rather Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
Correct word choice
than houseworking
houseworking
.
Correct your spelling
house working
housework
Seccondly
, they bring a convenience for us, Correct your spelling
Secondly
insted
of working at home, Correct your spelling
instead
the
individuals are able to relax and chill out on a sofa after Correct article usage
apply
the
demanding Correct article usage
apply
works
. Fix the agreement mistake
work
Also
, this
sense of a
Correct article usage
apply
convenient
and Replace the word
convenience
a comfortable
Replace the word
comfort
increase
occupation efficiency notably.
Turning to Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
other
side of the argument, admittedly, they create issues that have not been in the past Correct article usage
the other
such
as overusing of
Change preposition
apply
an
energy that could Remove the article
apply
be
Verb problem
have
negative
impact on the future. All of Add an article
a negative
these product
are electric which intake electricity Change the determiner
this product
these products
morely
. Correct your spelling
merely
Thus
, the environment may be damage
by Wrong verb form
damaged
human
in Fix the agreement mistake
humans
this
way seriously.
Another problem is price
of these ones that generally are high and when new products Add an article
the price
introduces
, the people Wrong verb form
are introduced
interested
Add a missing verb
are interested
to upgrade
Change preposition
in upgrading
that ones
rapidly. these Change the determiner
that one
those ones
fashonable
trends tend to Correct your spelling
fashionable
spending
a lot of money or even Change the verb
spend
using
Wrong verb form
use
saving
.
All things Fix the agreement mistake
savings
concidered
, undoubtedly, we can not set aside Correct your spelling
considered
these production
in Change the determiner
this production
these productions
this
modern world and fight against tech product
. From my Fix the agreement mistake
products
Correct your spelling
perspective
prespective
we should accept them with all their benefits and drawbacks and try to manage better our money and energy.Add a comma
prespective,
Submitted by mahyarnaseri on
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coherence cohesion
Strive for a clearer logical progression by using a variety of linking words throughout the essay. This will help create smoother transitions and enhance the flow.
task achievement
The essay addresses the question and presents relevant points. However, adding more specific examples would strengthen the argument and make it more convincing.
task achievement
Ensure your ideas are consistently clear and easy to follow by avoiding overly complex sentence structures. Simplify where possible to improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a well-structured introduction and a logical conclusion, effectively framing the discussion of both advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
The response effectively covers the question prompt by discussing both benefits and drawbacks of modern household machines, demonstrating an understanding of the task.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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