Many things that used to be done in the house by hand, are now being done by machines, Does this development brings more advantages or disadvantages?

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Nowadays, advancing technology,
have
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has
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provided
the
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apply
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cutting-edge devices which help
the
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apply
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people to do housework without hands that to be done by hand
previously
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apply
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.
For instance
, a robot
vaccume
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vacuum
, a
dish washer
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dishwasher
show examples
and so on.
However
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However,
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there are both pros and cons. In
this
essay, I will discuss some of the reasons why these machines have
the
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apply
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potential benefits and some challenges
could
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that could
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be
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apply
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happend
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happened
happen
. Let's begin by looking at the advantages, the first one is
a
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apply
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time-saving which is one of the most significant
asset
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assets
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in our whole
human-life
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human life
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and
the
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apply
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people should manage it properly.
It
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There
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is no doubt that these machines are labour-saving so they assist
the
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apply
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individuals to put their time
on
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into
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urged
task
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tasks
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rather
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than houseworking
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houseworking
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house working
housework
.
Seccondly
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Secondly
, they bring a convenience for us,
insted
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instead
of working at home,
the
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apply
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individuals are able to relax and chill out on a sofa after
the
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apply
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demanding
works
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work
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.
Also
,
this
sense of
a
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apply
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convenient
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convenience
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and
a comfortable
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comfort
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increase
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increases
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occupation efficiency notably. Turning to
other
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the other
show examples
side of the argument, admittedly, they create issues that have not been in the past
such
as overusing
of
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apply
show examples
an
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apply
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energy that could
be
Verb problem
have
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negative
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a negative
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impact on the future. All of
these product
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this product
these products
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are electric which intake electricity
morely
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merely
.
Thus
, the environment may be
damage
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damaged
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by
human
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humans
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in
this
way seriously. Another problem is
price
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the price
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of these ones that generally are high and when new products
introduces
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are introduced
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, the people
interested
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are interested
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to upgrade
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in upgrading
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that ones
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that one
those ones
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rapidly. these
fashonable
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fashionable
trends tend to
spending
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spend
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a lot of money or even
using
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use
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saving
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savings
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. All things
concidered
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considered
, undoubtedly, we can not set aside
these production
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this production
these productions
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in
this
modern world and fight against tech
product
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products
show examples
. From my
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perspective
prespective
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prespective,
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we should accept them with all their benefits and drawbacks and try to manage better our money and energy.
Submitted by mahyarnaseri on

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coherence cohesion
Strive for a clearer logical progression by using a variety of linking words throughout the essay. This will help create smoother transitions and enhance the flow.
task achievement
The essay addresses the question and presents relevant points. However, adding more specific examples would strengthen the argument and make it more convincing.
task achievement
Ensure your ideas are consistently clear and easy to follow by avoiding overly complex sentence structures. Simplify where possible to improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a well-structured introduction and a logical conclusion, effectively framing the discussion of both advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
The response effectively covers the question prompt by discussing both benefits and drawbacks of modern household machines, demonstrating an understanding of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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