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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #work #organization #life #organizations
There is a controversial question about
is
Correct word choice
whether is
show examples
 it more beneficial for the workers to be in the only
company
 rather than working for distinctive working areas. In
this
 essay, both views will be discussed and supported by convincing opinions. Working experience from the same place has many advantages, the staff could bond their relationship with other people at the
company
 leading to the trust and
supports
Fix the agreement mistake
support
show examples
. They might give you a of lot opportunities
due to
 your skills that they have seen you through the amount of time you have been working. The conviction of them to assign you several prospects to enhance
the
Change the word
your
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 abilities. There are
also
 benefits of making friends in the team, co-workers may willing to help your issues in your task or even your personal problems because
of
Change preposition
apply
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the duration of being employed allows them to feel
attach
Wrong verb form
attached
show examples
 and be
apart
Correct your spelling
a part
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
a
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 close
company
 member, resulting in
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 environment at workplace and stimulate your passions.
On the other hand
, changing workplaces consequents numerous positives. It enables you to experience divergent
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working methods
leads
Correct word choice
and leads
show examples
 to
develop
Wrong verb form
developing
show examples
 new skills
such
 as leadership
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
, communication, and teamwork. You could discover other positions or working
process
Fix the agreement mistake
processes
show examples
 that you are interested in which could help you identify yourself more or overcome your limitations. Another profit is expanding the circle of your social life, meeting new people to broaden
connection
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connections
show examples
 and exchanging new perspectives.
To sum
up
Add a comma
up,
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 everything that has been stated so far, it is considered that both views are reasonable.
However
, in my opinion, I believe that it is more important to
shifting
Wrong verb form
shift
show examples
 the
company
 owning to the variety of working
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
 which leads to
enhance
Wrong verb form
enhancing
show examples
 the quality of
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
.
Submitted by esaraica on

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task achievement
Ensure that each argument is well-supported with relevant examples or evidence. This will help in making your essay more convincing and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence structures and grammar for clarity and readability. Consider revising sentences to make them more concise and direct.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced view of both sides of the argument, addressing both staying in one company and shifting to different ones.
coherence cohesion
A clear introduction and conclusion are present, summarizing the main points and stating your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • stability
  • loyalty
  • seniority
  • job satisfaction
  • rapidly changing job market
  • adapt to
  • work culture
  • career progression
  • network
  • diversity of experience
  • adaptability
  • career aspirations
  • dynamic nature
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