Film stars and celebrities often share their views on public matters that have little to do with their profession. Is this a positive or negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, there has been a noticeable involvement of celebrities and actors towards
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public matters. In my
opinion
,
this
trend is positive as by using their position they can deliver
social
Add an article
a social
the social
show examples
message, promote confidence among folk and shift attention to serious concerns.
This
essay will highlight how
this
scenario could turn out advantageous
provides
Wrong verb form
provided
show examples
thorough research is carried out by the film stars before forming an
opinion
.
To begin
with,
one
of the main advantages of opinionated celebrities is that it fosters awareness about some major concerns among the
people
of society.
This
happens as individuals often consider popular stars as their role models and listen to their views before shaping an
opinion
.
for example
,
one
of the famous
actress
Change to a plural noun
actresses
show examples
from India utilized her platform to provide support to the acid attack victims.
This
led
people
to become aware and stay protected.
Furthermore
, when renowned
people
pen down regarding an issue it inculcates confidence among the
people
as they feel supported.
This
approach can be useful to promote peace and harmony among the citizens. Despite these benefits, it is imperative to acknowledge that famous
people
should not form an
opinion
as
such
.
This
is because they are followed by a huge number of
people
.
Thus
, proper research should be conducted by them or by their team before they let their views aired.
One
such
wrong move by them could have
devastating
Add an article
a devastating
show examples
impact on the nation.
For example
, Akshay Kumar, a
bollywood
Change the capitalization
Bollywood
show examples
actor, who is known for his routine and fitness was badly criticised by the audience when he promoted
tobacoo
Correct your spelling
tobacco
usage in
one
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
advertisements.
Thus
, it could have
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
affect
Correct your spelling
effect
show examples
on natives. In conclusion, I believe that as long as the
view points
Correct your spelling
viewpoints
show examples
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
celebrities are based on thorough knowledge, they can assist in
deliverance
Add an article
the deliverance
show examples
of deep social messages and
instill
Change the spelling
instil
show examples
confidence among
people
, which can make it a positive
overall
development.
Submitted by plkkhati on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
The essay would benefit from a clearer distinction between each argument presented. Consider using linking words to highlight the transition between ideas more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Be sure to proofread for small grammatical errors and punctuation, which can occasionally disrupt the flow.
Task Response
While the essay responds well to the task, providing more elaboration on how celebrities could negatively influence would add depth and balance.
Task Response
Ensure each paragraph's main point is clearly supported by examples or explanations, which may involve expanding certain sections.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, successfully framing and summarizing the discussion.
Task Achievement
The author efficiently uses examples, such as the Indian actress supporting acid attack victims, to substantiate their points.
Task Achievement
Key opinions and arguments are clearly articulated, with an effort to link back to the prompt and answer it comprehensively.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: