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Band 4.5

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are marrried or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others desagree. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words

#employers #people #jobs #information #hobbies #interests #desagree
As we always come across in applying for a
job
, personal
questions
 are questioned in many ways. Some say it is because of
to get
Change the verb form
getting
show examples
 to know
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the candidates in a personal way and some say it is irrelevant as it is not needed to judge a person by personal
questions
 for a
job
. I would say, it depends on case by case. In most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cases, the employers do have personal
questions
 for you
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to see how well are you doing in your personal life
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 to make sure you are fit for the position not
from
Rephrase
only from
show examples
 a
work oriented
Add a hyphen
work-oriented
show examples
 manner but
also
 if you have the necessary background in performing the tasks in the work place, which
also
 means of having a clear mind. Some employers, ask personal
questions
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to get to know more about you
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to make sure that
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
 not only be a place to be
task oriented
Add a hyphen
task-oriented
show examples
 but
also
 be a place
same
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
like home which you are willing to come
on
Change preposition
to on
show examples
 a daily basis. Sometimes the candidates may feel uncomfortable sharing their personal information or of themselves to the
job
 provider. They feel insecure
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 sharing their personal details
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 a person whom they
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
 know but only for the reason they provide a
job
.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 the
job
 provider may judge the candidate
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a personal level rather than the skill or capability that the individual may
posses
Correct your spelling
possess
show examples
 required for the
job
.
As per
Change preposition
In
show examples
 my opinion, I would say that having personal level
questions
 shall be acceptable for a
job
 application or an interview. The candidate should be given the right to answer it or
refraining
Change the form of the verb
refrain
show examples
 from answering. The candidate should not be penalized or judged based on their personal level
questions
.
Submitted by thanweershiraz on

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task achievement
Provide more detailed examples to illustrate your points, especially when discussing the relevance of personal information.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that sentences within paragraphs flow logically.
task achievement
The essay introduces both sides of the argument and provides some reasoning behind each perspective.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion provides a clear personal opinion, summarizing the main points discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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