IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that it is better to work in one job for life, while others believe it is better to change jobs often. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #work #job #life #change #jobs
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that staying in
one
Use synonyms
job
Use synonyms
 for life is best,
while
Linking Words
 others think it is better to change
jobs
Use synonyms
 often. Both sides have points, and I will discuss them here before giving my opinion. On the
one
Use synonyms
 hand, staying in
one
Use synonyms
job
Use synonyms
 for a long time can give
people
Use synonyms
job
Use synonyms
 security and make them experts.
For example
Linking Words
, if someone
work
Change the verb form
works
show examples
 at the same company for many years, they can gain a lot of experience and may even get promoted. Staying in
one
Use synonyms
job
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 makes
people
Use synonyms
 feel safe because they know they have a stable income and do not need to worry about finding a new
job
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 think that changing
jobs
Use synonyms
 is better. They believe it helps
people
Use synonyms
 learn new skills and keeps work exciting.
For instance
Linking Words
, a person who changes
jobs
Use synonyms
 may
learns
Change the verb form
learn
show examples
 different skills, meet new
people
Use synonyms
, and face new challenges, which can help them grow. Changing
jobs
Use synonyms
 can
also
Linking Words
 mean higher pay, as each new
job
Use synonyms
 may offer a better salary. In my opinion, it is good to have some changes in work.
While
Linking Words
 staying in
one
Use synonyms
job
Use synonyms
 has benefits, changing
jobs
Use synonyms
 can help
people
Use synonyms
 learn more and improve their lives. In conclusion, both staying in
one
Use synonyms
job
Use synonyms
 and changing
jobs
Use synonyms
 have advantages, but a mix of both might be the best choice for most
people
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by anasepic.9999 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider enriching the essay with more specific examples to further support the main points. This can enhance the argument and make your opinions more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the logical progression of your ideas is seamless. While the structure is clear, transitions between ideas can be smoother.
task achievement
The essay successfully presents both views on the topic and includes a clear opinion statement, fulfilling the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, which effectively encapsulates the discussed views and personal opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: