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Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

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The bar graph illustrates the share of regular physical activity by different
age
 groups of
men
 and
women
 in Australia in 2010.
Overall
, both
men
 and
women
 across different
age
 groups fluctuated throughout the given period.
Nonetheless
, except for the 15 to 24
age
group
, the percentage of
women
 was always higher than
men
. The 15 to 24
age
group
 was the only
group
 that male exceeded female, with 52.8% and 47.7%, respectively. In the 25 to 34
age
group
,
while
 male's number dropped to 42.2%,
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 increased
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 shares to almost 50%. The trend continued in the 35 to 44
age
group
, with male shares decreasing slightly to under 40%
whereas
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 grew to 52.5%. In the next
age
groups
Fix the agreement mistake
group
show examples
 category, the percentage of
men
 and
women
 in the 45 to 54
age
group
 increased,
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 45.1% and 53%, respectively.
However
,
while
men
 in the next
age
 category grew to 45.1%,
women
 slightly decreased to 53%.
This
 continued to the 65 and over
age
 category, with
men
's number increased to 46.7% and
women
's number dropped to 47.1%.
Submitted by aribawadzaki on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, men, women, group with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Australian men
  • Australian women
  • Age groups
  • Regular physical activity
  • Participated
  • Increased
  • Decreased
  • Proportion
  • Physically active
  • Gender difference
  • Engaged
  • Exercise
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