The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
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The bar graph illustrates the share of regular physical activity by different
age
Use synonyms
groups of
men
Use synonyms
and
women
Use synonyms
in Australia in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, both
men
Use synonyms
and
women
Use synonyms
across different
age
Use synonyms
groups fluctuated throughout the given period.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, except for the 15 to 24
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
, the percentage of
women
Use synonyms
was always higher than
men
Use synonyms
. The 15 to 24
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
was the only
group
Use synonyms
that male exceeded female, with 52.8% and 47.7%, respectively. In the 25 to 34
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
male's number dropped to 42.2%,
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
increased
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
shares to almost 50%. The trend continued in the 35 to 44
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
, with male shares decreasing slightly to under 40%
whereas
Linking Words
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
grew to 52.5%. In the next
age
Use synonyms
groups
Fix the agreement mistake
group
show examples
category, the percentage of
men
Use synonyms
and
women
Use synonyms
in the 45 to 54
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
increased,
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
45.1% and 53%, respectively.
However
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
in the next
age
Use synonyms
category grew to 45.1%,
women
Use synonyms
slightly decreased to 53%.
This
Linking Words
continued to the 65 and over
age
Use synonyms
category, with
men
Use synonyms
's number increased to 46.7% and
women
Use synonyms
's number dropped to 47.1%.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, men, women, group with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Australian men
  • Australian women
  • Age groups
  • Regular physical activity
  • Participated
  • Increased
  • Decreased
  • Proportion
  • Physically active
  • Gender difference
  • Engaged
  • Exercise
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