In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

#countries #people #work #move #friends #families #development

Nowadays, many people talk about the correlation between getting a

job

and their engagement with

friends

and

families

. People are curious if

this

correlation

gives

Verb problem

has

show examples

a positive or negative impact on the result. In

this

essay,

Change the capitalization

show examples

want to explain my point of view toward

this

concern. As we all know , finding a

job

is essential for every single person in the world. We need to focus on finding a proper

job

that has the same major as our qualifications.

Friends

and

families

become an external factor to claim

this

achievement. In my opinion,

this

external factor can become a knife with two eyes.

It's depends

Change the verb form

It depends

show examples

on how we can optimize

this

relationship. I agree

Correct word choice

that

show examples

this

condition will give us many advantages ,as long as we have

positive

Add an article

a positive

show examples

environment with our

friends

and

families

. So very important to choose

friends

with good support for our career.

Families

also

will give us more help if they support our future with commitment.

On the other hand

, close relationships with

friends

and

families

can become a giant rock which close

Change preposition

show examples

road

Add an article

the road

show examples

to achieving a successful career. how can

this

happen? Too many hanging out with

friends

will make us focus on finding a

job

. The worst scenario , we can destroy our future if we have the wrong

friends

with bad behaviour.

Families

sometimes give us trouble and reduce our focus on their family problems. So , We can take advantage of being close to our

friends

and

families

while

finding of

job

period as long as we are smart about choosing good

friends

with

positive

Add an article

a positive

show examples

vibe. And

also

gives an early understanding to

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

how important to find a

job

. I think our family will fully support us.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Wed Nov 06 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve your coherence and cohesion, consider organizing your essay with clearer paragraphing, ensuring each paragraph addresses a specific point. Additionally, strengthen your conclusion by summarizing the main points made in the essay more explicitly.

task achievement

Enhance task achievement by supporting your ideas with more specific examples and details. This will help provide a more comprehensive response to the prompt.

task achievement

Your essay attempts to address both advantages and disadvantages, showing understanding of the prompt.

task achievement

You reflect on a balanced perspective about the role of friends and family, which shows a mature understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

290 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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11 Most Commonly Used English Expressions »

Topic Vocabulary:

relocation
employment prospects
professional development
cultural exposure
isolation
familial relationships
cost of living
career progression
mental health
significant life events
higher salaries
support families
broaden horizons
living standards

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In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

Fully explain your ideas

Technology is becoming progressively universal. In the fullness of time, classroom teachers will be totally substituted for technology. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is better to raise children in the countryside, while others think that cities offer more opportunities for a child’s development. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

As countries develop, their populations tend to live individually or in small family units. In your opinion, what are the causes and what are the effects on both individuals and society as a whole.

In many countries around the world , rural people are moving to cities , so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Nuclear power is used both for weapons of mass destruction and the production of cheap, clean energy. Do the advantages of nuclear power outweigh the disadvantages?