You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year old child.Write a letter to the parents .In your letter -explain why would like the job -give details why you would be a suitable person to employ -say how you spend your free time while you are in Australia

#advertisement #australian #magazine #someone #six #months #child #parents #-explain #job #-give #person #-say #time #australia

Hello sir/madam, I hope you doing well. I wanted to reach out to you about an advertisement which I have seen in an Australian magazine about living with a family for six months and taking care of

six-year-old

Add an article

a six-year-old

the six-year-old

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infant. My name is Ali and I recently completed my nanny course and qualified to take care of children. I am a very active and hardworking candidate and work

full time

Add a hyphen

full-time

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without any fatigue. In 2022, I did a child aftercare job and received a positive response. I have good

communicational

Replace the word

communication

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skills and am very updated with new technology. In my spare time, I will explore the nature and environment. I hope you find the ability in me to take care of your child. Looking forward to hearing from you. Thank you, Ali

Submitted by shubhdeepkaur2 on Wed Nov 06 2024

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task achievement

Try to elaborate more on why you would like the job, perhaps by mentioning specific interests or experiences that make this job appealing to you.

coherence cohesion

Consider using more connectors or transition words to improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

The greeting and closing are appropriately used, which is important in maintaining a formal tone in a letter.

task achievement

The tone of the letter is polite and professional, making it suitable for application to a family.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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0Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

131 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

caregiver
childcare experience
passion for children
responsibility
patience
commitment
cultural immersion
local environment
community engagement
flexibility
references
qualifications
volunteer work
educational background
suitable candidate
enthusiasm
positive impact
personal attributes
willingness
explore

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

1/ Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and the governments should make it free

Some people believe that an individual's personality is largely shaped by their genes, while others argue that environmental factors play a more significant role. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many schools are arranging unpaid work for teenagers to get some work experience in institutions or companies, because it is beneficial for students as well as institutions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In Some Countries,More and more people are becoming interested in finding out abut the history of the house or building they live in what are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

These days, people work in more than one job, and often change career several times during their life. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?