The charts below show the percentage ofwater used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentage ofwater used for different purposes in six areas of the world.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
pie chart represents the
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
of water
been
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
used in six continent for different
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
in per
cent
. O
Overall
,
Agriculture
is the most
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
used in four areas which are South
America
, Africa,Central
Asia
,
South
Correct word choice
and South
show examples
East
Asia
while
the highest usage of North
America
and Europe is industry. In North
America
almost half
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
of water has been used by industrial
follow
Wrong verb form
followed
show examples
by gardening at 39 per
cent
which is 26 per
cent
more than domestic.
Moreover
, Europe
use
Change the verb form
uses
show examples
water for
industrial larger
Correct word choice
more
show examples
than half of
the
Change the word
its
show examples
usage, with
agriculture
at 32 per
cent
also
domestic has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
used nearly 10 per
cent
which is lower than a quarter.
In contrast
,South
America
use
agricultural
Replace the word
agriculture
show examples
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first around
two-third
Correct your spelling
two-thirds
show examples
(71per
cent
),
domestic
Correct word choice
and domestic
show examples
is in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second
for
Change preposition
at
show examples
nearly 20
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
together with
industrial at the least.
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
show examples
Africa
spend
Change the verb form
spends
show examples
the usage
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
agriculture
at 84 per
cent
,
then
domestic
also
industrial at 9 and 7 per
cent
respectively.
In
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
Central
Asia
has similar numbers with Africa, by
got
Change the form of the verb
getting
show examples
the
different
Replace the word
difference
show examples
between industrial and domestic at the exactly same rate,
as well as
agricultural at 88 per
cent
.
Lastly
Add a comma
Lastly,
show examples
South East
Asia
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
show examples
agricultural
Replace the word
agriculture
show examples
at over 81 per
cent
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
it 6 per
cent
less than the first rank of
agriculture
,next Industrial at 12 per
cent
which is around
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
double
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
domestic .
Submitted by esaraica on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cent, agriculture, america, asia with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: