Employer some time ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies, and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant or useful. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Employer
Fix the agreement mistake
Employers
show examples
some time
Correct your spelling
sometimes
show examples
ask people applying for jobs some personal information which is becoming regular between
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies during job
interview
Fix the agreement mistake
interviews
show examples
, especially when the employer
were
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
a group of men
infornt
Correct your spelling
in front
of one beautiful lady. Right now I'm sure you will be shocked how really these
qeaustions
Correct your spelling
questions
are so shame ? might you have your own reasons
to open
Change preposition
for opening
show examples
leafs
Correct your spelling
leaves
show examples
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
my personal life but in some
specifice
Correct your spelling
specific
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
situation
Add a comma
situation,
show examples
you must need to know
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Change the word
my
show examples
health background and some details
on
Change preposition
about
show examples
why did get a bad
proplems
Correct your spelling
problems
problem
?
that's
Unnecessary verb
that
show examples
may lead them to discover the dark side new person because they want to build
the
Change the word
their
show examples
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
,
morevere
Correct your spelling
moreover
a lot of lovely faces could cheat you and fail to control
soul
Correct pronoun usage
your soul
show examples
the work you a responsible
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
it same as who grave
him self
Correct your spelling
himself
show examples
to die. So what the
goverments
Correct your spelling
government
governments
should do? I think
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
of heavy loads
depand
Correct your spelling
depend
on
theire
Correct your spelling
them
to create an
astoshing
Correct your spelling
astonishing
rule to
seperate
Correct your spelling
separate
between the right and the lift and do
a serious steps
Correct the article-noun agreement
serious steps
a serious step
show examples
to clear every point and push all to be
confients
Correct your spelling
confident
. I
belief
Replace the word
believe
show examples
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
personal information is not nessosary
fot
Correct your spelling
for
Employer
Fix the agreement mistake
Employers
show examples
and the people applying have the
rights
Fix the agreement mistake
right
show examples
to not
answering
Wrong verb form
answer
show examples
them if they
felt
Wrong verb form
feel
show examples
uncomfortable .
Submitted by monir.ali.52 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to present a clear introduction and conclusion to structure your essay better.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main point, and aim for smoother transitions between ideas.
task achievement
Work on developing your ideas more fully in order to achieve a more complete response.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Make sure your ideas are clear and comprehensive, supporting them with relevant details.
task achievement
The essay addresses an interesting and relevant topic related to job interviews.
task achievement
You raised some important points about privacy and employer practices, which shows your engagement with the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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