In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some think that the government has the responsibility to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #children #think #government #responsibility

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It is a contentious issue whether politicians should take accountability for the obesity problem.

According to

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this

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theory, there should be some rules set by public institutions that prevent unhealthy lifestyles. In

this

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essay, I will elaborate on

this

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subject and explain why I strongly disagree with the above statement.

To begin

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with, in many countries, children are becoming overweight.

Nevertheless

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, it is the

parents'

Correct your spelling

parent's

show examples

role to take care of their diet. Because many neglect consequences, they give highly processed food to their toddlers. We should pay attention to individuals and enterprises rather than government to solve

this

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issue.

For instance

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, illustrate various negative effects caused by regular consumption of those products in the same way as cigarette boxes show.

Moreover

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, some people say that prices of good quality food are too expensive for them. I concur that it is not necessarily the reason. If they buy basic products

such

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as carrots and apples, the bill will not be expensive.

Therefore

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, it is very much possible to purchase groceries healthy and cheaply if we spend enough time to analyze

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

To conclude

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, education and marketing are key to

help

Wrong verb form

helping

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people change their lifestyles. Not only families

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

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companies are responsible for a tough situation. We should improve the knowledge of families but

also

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force companies to show the cons of their products.

Submitted by Aga on Thu Nov 07 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that the essay maintains a consistent argument. While the essay argues against government responsibility, it suggests roles for companies, which might need clearer separation from government roles to avoid confusion.

task achievement

Consider including a counter-argument or acknowledging different perspectives. This can give more depth to the essay and enhance the task response score.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to back up claims regarding the affordability of healthy food and potential corporate responsibilities.

coherence cohesion

Clear introduction and conclusion that support the position taken in the essay.

coherence cohesion

Paragraphs are logically structured and ideas are generally well-connected, contributing to a clear flow of information.

task achievement

The essay addresses the prompt clearly and comprehensively, providing a complete response to the question.

task achievement

The writer uses straightforward yet effective language to communicate complex ideas, which is a strength in maintaining clarity.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

223 words

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In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some think that the government has the responsibility to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Word Count

In some places old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important.Discuss both views and giv your opinion.

Many developed countries are giving financial aid to poor countries. However, this hasn’t solved the problem of poverty in these nations and so other types of help are needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Some people think that the best way for developing countries to eradicate poverty is to provide six years of free education to every child. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that increasing business and cultural contacts worldwide have positive influences on development; others think that they have negative effects on national identities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people's lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.