A big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

It is believed by some that a large
income
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is much more significant than a
job
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that doesn’t offer much other than
satisfaction
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. In my opinion,
satisfaction
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shouldn’t be the only factor of a
job
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and
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, and
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a substantial salary is definitely more important.
One
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of the main reasons for supporting
this
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view is that
although
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many believe
money
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doesn’t provide happiness, it is
one
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of the most crucial elements for building a satisfying life.
For instance
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, my aunt is a pathologist. She works full-time and spends most of her precious time in the hospital. Working in that field means constantly having patients with incurable diseases coming to you. That said, it is rather frustrating to maintain a healthy and happy mentality when your
job
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revolves around negativity. Even so,
due to
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her extensive
income
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, she is able to travel to any destination she desires, buy a variety of gifts for herself and more importantly, live without debts and the worry that follows. That results in a more carefree lifestyle and helps you focus on your mental health despite the difficulties of your
job
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. I believe we live in an expensive world , and an artist who can’t find a suitable
job
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in their field of passion struggles much more than a doctor who might see their family less but provides better life essentials for them.
Above all
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, the
money
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earned from an incredible
job
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could guarantee you comfort in the future if it’s mindfully invested in things.
Whereas
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, the
satisfaction
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from a weak salary
job
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is quite temporary and not only makes you unable to take part in activities that require sufficient
money
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, but
also
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takes away your happiness and might trigger depression.
Moreover
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, there are now many things in the world that could bring
satisfaction
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to people.
One
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could prioritise a
job
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with a steady
income
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over their passion and still manage to find a balance in between. To give an illustration, my pathologist aunt has always been a huge fan of music. Despite her heavy
job
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,
due to
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the
money
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she earns, she has created an indoor studio in
one
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of her rooms, and every day after her work
she
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, she
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invites musicians over to record their music at her house and learns so much from them.
This
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shows that no matter the hard work, if you earn sufficiently, it is possible for you to follow your satisfying passion. It is rather impossible to do so with an insufficient salary. In conclusion, I believe that in order to have a fulfilling life, it is essential to choose a
job
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based on the amount of
income
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you’d earn. In most cases, that
job
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eventually brings
satisfaction
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.

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Task Response
State a clear view in the first paragraph and keep it the same in the end. A short plan helps.
Task Response
Add more strong and real examples. Do not rely only on one aunt example. Explain why each point matters to the view.
Coherence and Cohesion
Link ideas with simple words. Use clear 'first', 'next', 'finally' and connect ideas in order.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to start a new idea with a new paragraph and end with a clear link to the next idea.
Coherence and Cohesion
Check grammar and small spelling to keep easy flow.
Task Response
The writer shows a clear view that money can be important.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay uses some linking and a few good ideas.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
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