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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features

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the bar chart presents data on the
number
Use synonyms
 of telephone call
minutes
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 in Britain, over the period from 1995 to 2002.
Overall
Linking Words
, we observe that the local calls recorded the highest
number
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 of
minutes
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 of calling in all categories,
while
Linking Words
 mobiles logged the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 of
minutes
Use synonyms
, meanwhile, the national and international calls remained in between them in all categories. On the one hand, local calls started with 70
billion
Use synonyms
minutes
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 in 1995 and witnessed a steady increase by approximately 7
billion
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 until reached their peak in 1999 by recording 90
billion
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, afterward,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 returned to decrease by the same
number
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 of
minutes
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 till 2002 to reach 73
billion
Use synonyms
minutes
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the national and international, and mobile calls both of them had
a
Change the article
an
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 onward
increasing
Replace the word
increase
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 over the whole period of 7 years, starting from 1995 they documented 3 and 35
billion
Use synonyms
minutes
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, respectively, till the year 2002 they documented 45 and 60
billion
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, respectively. The
mobiles
Change the noun form
mobile
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 category's biggest leap was between 2000 and 2001,
while
Linking Words
 the second category increased steadily.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, minutes, billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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