Some argue younger people are not suitable for important positions in the government, while others think is a good idea. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is no doubt that the
government
has supreme power to enhance infrastructure and
serve
Verb problem
provide
show examples
equal service to citizens.
However
, there are differing opinions about whether
government
positions are suited for
youngsters
or not. I will elaborate in more detail on the positive and negative aspects of
this
trend and
thus
lead to a logical conclusion. First of all,
youngsters
are very creative, smart and educated people,
easily
Correct word choice
and easily
show examples
make the right decision in critical situations.
However
, maturity and life lessons are paramount for the
government
role,
should
Correct word choice
and should
show examples
handle all the problems calmly. They should dedicate their life to severe for people
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
24/7 without distracting by any other activities.
For instance
, many youngster want to settle their life without doing much
work
,
therefore
they can easily be distracted by money and fame.
Thus
, all the demerits stand in a good stem.
On the other hand
, many
youngsters
want to
severe
Correct your spelling
serve
show examples
people for
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
better nation.
For instance
, many
youngsters
are interested in
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
in
government
positions to bring change to society. They will do smart
work
instead
of hard
work
.
For instance
, In Dubai present Imitaz brought a lot of change for their nation, their economic rate increased by 6% compared to the
last
time.
Hence
it's apparent why many favouring
this
trend. In recapitulation,
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
there are innumerable strong factors supporting that society needs change, offering
chance
Add an article
the chance
a chance
show examples
to
youngsters
who want to do something for society, they are perfect role for the job role.
Consequently
, I firmly agree with the given statement.
Submitted by dhivyaravi0396 on

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task response
Ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views more clearly and providing a balanced conclusion.
task response
Develop your main points with more specific examples and supporting explanations.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical structure of your essay by linking ideas more cohesively within paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, outlining the topic and providing your viewpoint.
task response
You address the task by discussing both sides of the argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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