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Band 5

The charts show the percentage of male and female workers for three employment sectors in two different countries in 2007

The charts show the percentage of male and female workers for three employment sectors in two different countries in 2007
#show #percentage #workers #three #employment #sectors #two #countries
The four pie charts give information about male and female employers across
industry
 , agriculture and services in two different
countiries
Correct your spelling
countries
.
Overall
, service dominates among all people in
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
counties
,
while
 agriculture was notable in
country
 A ,
industry
Add an article
the industry
show examples
 has
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
higher in
country
 B . In
country
 A , there was a notable rate among two genes of workers . Service was taken half part of employment with 50% , followed by agriculture with 30 and 45 persetages respectively .
Industry
Add an article
The industry
show examples
 was smallest for 15persentages for men and 8
persentages
Correct your spelling
percentages
percentage
 for women . In
country
 B , Services had taken
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 part of
job
Correct article usage
the job
show examples
 sector with 65
persentages
Correct your spelling
percentages
percentage
 for
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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 and 49
percentages
Replace the word
per cent
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for
Change preposition
of
show examples
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
.
Industry
 ,
on the other hand
 ,
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words industry, country with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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