IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

the graph below shows female unemployment rates in each country of the UK in 2013 and 2014 summerise the information by selecting an reporting features and mke comparisons where relevant

the graph below shows female unemployment rates in each country of the UK in 2013 and 2014 summerise the information by selecting an reporting features and mke comparisons where relevant
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The given bar chart provides information about female
unemployment
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 rates in each country of the
Uk
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UK
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 in 2013 and 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, the provided data shows that in 2013 highest female
unemployment
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 proportion was detected in
England
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 and the lowest in
Wales
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 in 2014 highest
unemployment
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rate
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 among women was in Scotland and the lowest in Northern
Ireland
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. On the whole, in 2013 and 2014
unemployment
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 percentage of females in the UK fluctuated from 5% to 6,5%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
 , in 2013 Highest number of job seekers in the female population were in
England
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 and Scotland, with a percentage of 6.8% and 6.1%.
In addition
Linking Words
, Northern
Ireland
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 and
Wales
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 had slightly lower
unemployment
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 rates.
In particular
Linking Words
, Northern
Ireland
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 had 5,6% and
Wales
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 had a 5.4%
unemployment
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rate
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 among women. As follows, in 2014 Female
unemployment
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rate
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 fluctuation was detected in
England
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, Northern
Ireland
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 and
Wales
Use synonyms
,
For example
Linking Words
,
England
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 has shown a gentle decline to a 6.5%
rate
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, in the same way,
Wales
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 had a modest fall in
unemployment
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rate
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 to 5.0%.
Also
Linking Words
, Northern
Ireland
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 had a marked decrease
rate
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 from 5.6% to 4.6%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 opposite tendency was noted in Scotland, where female job seekers' percentage increased to 6.7%.
TaKing
Correct your spelling
Taking
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 everything into consideration, we can say that in 2013 the UK had approximately 5,5% female
unemployment
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rate
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, and in 2014 average proportion declined,
while
Linking Words
 the Scottish peaked at 6.7%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words unemployment, england, wales, rate, ireland with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "provides" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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