IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The graphs show changes in spending habits of people in UK in 1971 and 2001

The graphs show changes in spending habits of people in UK in 1971 and 2001
The pie charts manifest altercations in
consuming
Replace the word
the consumption
show examples
 habits of citizens in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 in
1971and
Correct your spelling
1971 and
 2001
years
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,in 30
years
Use synonyms
 from 1971 to 2001 the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of cars
growed
Correct your spelling
grew
show examples
 the most rapidly among others. The
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of cars increased from 22%by 23%,
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
 words , it doubled
in
Change preposition
between
show examples
 1971 and 2001
years
Use synonyms
.
Likewise
Linking Words
 , the extent of restaurants doubled from 7% during 30
years
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
volume
Add an article
the volume
show examples
 of food decreased significantly by 30% from 44% in the same periods of others. The measurement of books
lowered
Verb problem
decreased
show examples
 from 6% to 1% in
Use synonyms
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 1971 and 2001. The level of computers had a visible growth from 2%
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
 10% in 30
years
Use synonyms
.
Other
Correct article usage
The other
show examples
 two invisible portions of
pie
Correct article usage
the pie
show examples
 chart had mild decline and progress which are not important.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: