The pie charts show the percentage of pop music enthusiasts according to age in 2018 and 2021. Summarise the data by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.

#show #percentage #pop #music #enthusiasts #age #summarise #data #features #comparisons

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The

given

Verb problem

apply

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pie charts depict

the

Correct article usage

apply

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information about enthusiasts of pop

music

Use synonyms

in the

years

Use synonyms

Change preposition

apply

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2018 and 2021. It consists of different age groups from 15 to 56 and older. Generally, it has seen quite big changes over the

years

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. Taking into consideration the first chart, which is about the year 2018.

Such

Linking Words

type of

music

Use synonyms

is the most popular among teenagers 15-18

years

Use synonyms

old. It fills slightly more than the third part. The second most targeted listeners are young people from 19 to 25

years

Use synonyms

Correct word choice

old.

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Nevertheless

Linking Words

, pop

music

Use synonyms

is the least popular among 56 and older

years

Use synonyms

according to

Linking Words

the statistics of 2018.

Additionally

Linking Words

, a similar table for 2021 is provided. It

Verb problem

has

show examples

seen some major changes. The interest of teenagers decreased by roughly 6 per cent,

whereas

Linking Words

it became more popular for

the

Correct article usage

apply

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people from 26

years

Use synonyms

. It could be caused by several changes in the

music

Use synonyms

industry. Ultimately, I can definitely say, that

such

Linking Words

music

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genre

Fix the agreement mistake

genres

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as pop

music

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has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

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become much more popular among the older generation in the

last

Linking Words

few

years

Use synonyms

Submitted by strogiy2008 on Fri Nov 08 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".

▼

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words music, years with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

177 words

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The pie charts show the percentage of pop music enthusiasts according to age in 2018 and 2021. Summarise the data by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.

Some people argue that technological interventions such as mobile phones are making people socially less interactive. Do you agree or disagree?

Today, the quality of life in large cities is decreasing. What is the reason ? What can be done to resolve this problem?

Some people think that success in life comes from hard-working and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.