The pie charts show the percentage of pop music enthusiasts according to age in 2018 and 2021. Summarise the data by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.

#show #percentage #pop #music #enthusiasts #age #summarise #data #features #comparisons

The

given

Verb problem

apply

show examples

pie charts depict

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

information about enthusiasts of pop

music

in the

years

Change preposition

apply

show examples

2018 and 2021. It consists of different age groups from 15 to 56 and older. Generally, it has seen quite big changes over the

years

. Taking into consideration the first chart, which is about the year 2018.

Such

type of

music

is the most popular among teenagers 15-18

years

old. It fills slightly more than the third part. The second most targeted listeners are young people from 19 to 25

years

Correct word choice

old.

show examples

Nevertheless

, pop

music

is the least popular among 56 and older

years

according to

the statistics of 2018.

Additionally

, a similar table for 2021 is provided. It

Verb problem

has

show examples

seen some major changes. The interest of teenagers decreased by roughly 6 per cent,

whereas

it became more popular for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people from 26

years

. It could be caused by several changes in the

music

industry. Ultimately, I can definitely say, that

such

music

genre

Fix the agreement mistake

genres

show examples

as pop

music

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

become much more popular among the older generation in the

last

few

years

Submitted by strogiy2008 on Fri Nov 08 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".

▼

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words music, years with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

177 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The pie charts show the percentage of pop music enthusiasts according to age in 2018 and 2021. Summarise the data by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.

Some people think the best way to solve global environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The best way that a government can reduce the traffic congestion in cities is to provide public transport free of cost to people 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. To what extent do you agree or disagree

In some parts of the world, people have become more focused on themselves than their communities. What problems can this situation cause and how can they be solved?

1.Please share your motivation for undertaking this programme?1.Please share your motivation for undertaking this programme?

Children are under more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?