Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and five your own

While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
some people believe that children will
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefit
benefits
to educate
Change preposition
from educating
show examples
boys and girls in
disapert
Correct your spelling
diapers
schools,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I believe that children can earn more advantages from
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
Change preposition
in school
show examples
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
who
mixed
Wrong verb form
mix
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both genders. The
majory
Correct your spelling
major
majority
reason
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
suggested
Wrong verb form
suggest
show examples
to
seprarete
Correct your spelling
separate
children is that
avoiding
Wrong verb form
avoid
show examples
students
fall
Wrong verb form
falling
show examples
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
relationships in
early
Add an article
the early
an early
show examples
stage of
developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development
show examples
. If
students
build up relationships under lacking enough
sexual
Change the adjective
sexually
show examples
related
kowledge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
, they may
induce
Verb problem
experience
show examples
several
seriouse concequences
Correct your spelling
serious consequences
,
such
as pregnancy in
teenager
Correct article usage
the teenager
show examples
stage, abortion, and infect sex transmitted
virus
Fix the agreement mistake
viruses
show examples
.
Also
, they might not have
ability
Change the article
the ability
show examples
to
tacle
Correct your spelling
tackle
those negative situations, and result in
huge
Add an article
a huge
the huge
show examples
negative
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
show examples
on health
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
or even
life-threating
Correct your spelling
life-threatening
consequences.
Thus
, the best prevention
methold
Correct your spelling
method
is to separate their
gender
in different schools.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
separate
Replace the word
separating
show examples
students
by their
gender
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
some
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
, I still
recommand
Correct your spelling
recommend
that
sutdents
Correct your spelling
students
should study together, since it can
cultural
Change the word
culturally
show examples
correct
gender
information in
students'minds
Correct your spelling
students
. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand,
mixed
Add a hyphen
mixed-gender
show examples
gender
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
will
advoiding
Correct your spelling
avoiding
students
Fix the infinitive
to have
show examples
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
misunerstanding
Correct your spelling
misunderstanding
misunderstandings
and
sterotypes
Correct your spelling
stereotypes
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
unfamilier
Correct your spelling
unfamiliar
gender
.
It
Add a verb
It is
It was
show examples
critical
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
reduce sexual discrimination in society.
On the other hand
, mixed
gender
schools are more
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
to
students
learn how to cope with different relationships and communicate with different people.
Also
,
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
sociesal
Correct your spelling
social
societal
ability is an
imporatant
Correct your spelling
important
element to them in future
envrionments
Correct your spelling
environments
,
such
as university, working
place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
, and daily life. In conclusion, it is true that
separate
Replace the word
separating
show examples
students
apart may
Add a missing verb
be a
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good prevention for
students
fall in love at
early
Add an article
an early
show examples
stage, but I believe that mixed
gender
together
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweighs
than
separete
Correct your spelling
separate
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
since it can advance their
sociecal
Correct your spelling
social
societal
skills and reduce
gender
discrimination.
Submitted by huangjiali617 on

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task achievement
It would be helpful to further develop the main points with more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments.
task achievement
Your main ideas are present and clear, but consider elaborating on them more for a stronger argument.
coherence cohesion
Working on transitions between paragraphs would improve the logical flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Double-checking for minor grammatical errors and clearer expression would improve your essay's clarity.
task achievement
You have successfully addressed both views in your essay, providing a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your argument well.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • single-sex schools
  • mixed-gender education
  • gender-specific teaching techniques
  • stereotypes
  • real-world preparation
  • distraction-free environment
  • holistic development
  • social integration
  • interpersonal skills
  • collaborative learning
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