Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and five your own

#people #boys #girls #schools #benefit #five

While

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apply

show examples

some people believe that children will

benifits

Correct your spelling

benefit

benefits

to educate

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from educating

show examples

boys and girls in

disapert

Correct your spelling

diapers

schools,

but

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apply

show examples

I believe that children can earn more advantages from

studing

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studying

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in school

show examples

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

who

mixed

Wrong verb form

mix

show examples

with

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apply

show examples

both genders. The

majory

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major

majority

reason

for

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apply

show examples

people

suggested

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suggest

show examples

seprarete

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separate

children is that

avoiding

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avoid

show examples

students

fall

Wrong verb form

falling

show examples

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into

show examples

relationships in

early

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the early

an early

show examples

stage of

developments

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development

show examples

. If

students

build up relationships under lacking enough

sexual

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sexually

show examples

kowledge

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knowledge

, they may

induce

Verb problem

experience

show examples

several

seriouse concequences

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serious consequences

such

as pregnancy in

teenager

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the teenager

show examples

stage, abortion, and infect sex transmitted

virus

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viruses

show examples

Also

, they might not have

ability

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the ability

show examples

tacle

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tackle

those negative situations, and result in

huge

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a huge

the huge

show examples

negative

impact

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impacts

show examples

on health

condition

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conditions

show examples

or even

life-threating

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life-threatening

consequences.

Thus

, the best prevention

methold

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method

is to separate their

gender

in different schools.

Although

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apply

show examples

separate

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separating

show examples

students

by their

gender

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

some

benifits

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benefits

, I still

recommand

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recommend

that

sutdents

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students

should study together, since it can

cultural

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culturally

show examples

correct

gender

information in

students'minds

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students

. On

one

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the one

show examples

hand,

mixed

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mixed-gender

show examples

gender

school

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schools

show examples

will

advoiding

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avoiding

students

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to have

show examples

have

Wrong verb form

having

show examples

misunerstanding

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misunderstanding

misunderstandings

and

sterotypes

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stereotypes

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show examples

unfamilier

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unfamiliar

gender

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It is

It was

show examples

critical

for

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show examples

reduce sexual discrimination in society.

On the other hand

, mixed

gender

schools are more

benifits

Correct your spelling

benefits

students

learn how to cope with different relationships and communicate with different people.

Also

students

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students'

student's

show examples

sociesal

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social

societal

ability is an

imporatant

Correct your spelling

important

element to them in future

envrionments

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environments

such

as university, working

place

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workplace

show examples

, and daily life. In conclusion, it is true that

separate

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separating

show examples

students

apart may

Add a missing verb

be a

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

good prevention for

students

fall in love at

early

Add an article

an early

show examples

stage, but I believe that mixed

gender

together

outweight

Correct your spelling

outweighs

than

separete

Correct your spelling

separate

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since it can advance their

sociecal

Correct your spelling

social

societal

skills and reduce

gender

discrimination.

Submitted by huangjiali617 on Sat Nov 09 2024

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task achievement

It would be helpful to further develop the main points with more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments.

task achievement

Your main ideas are present and clear, but consider elaborating on them more for a stronger argument.

coherence cohesion

Working on transitions between paragraphs would improve the logical flow of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Double-checking for minor grammatical errors and clearer expression would improve your essay's clarity.

task achievement

You have successfully addressed both views in your essay, providing a balanced discussion.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your argument well.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
66Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

single-sex schools
mixed-gender education
gender-specific teaching techniques
stereotypes
real-world preparation
distraction-free environment
holistic development
social integration
interpersonal skills
collaborative learning

What to do next:

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Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and five your own

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Education used to be a short period of training, but today, people treat it like a lifelong practice. Do you agree or disagree?

It is sometimes said that ‘travel broadens the mind’. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people feel that there is too much emphasis on getting an education, and that the government should spend money on leisure time activities for young people too. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some school children buy healthy food from the school cafeteria. However, some buy unhealthy food. What are the reasons for both these situations? Should schools be allowed to sell unhealthy food?