Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and five your own
While
,
some people believe that children will Remove the comma
apply
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefit
benefits
to educate
boys and girls in Change preposition
from educating
disapert
schools, Correct your spelling
diapers
but
I believe that children can earn more advantages from Correct word choice
apply
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
Change preposition
in school
school
who Fix the agreement mistake
schools
mixed
Wrong verb form
mix
with
both genders.
The Change preposition
apply
majory
reason Correct your spelling
major
majority
for
people Change preposition
apply
suggested
to Wrong verb form
suggest
seprarete
children is that Correct your spelling
separate
avoiding
Wrong verb form
avoid
students
fall
Wrong verb form
falling
in
relationships in Change preposition
into
early
stage of Add an article
the early
an early
developments
. If Fix the agreement mistake
development
students
build up relationships under lacking enough sexual
related Change the adjective
sexually
kowledge
, they may Correct your spelling
knowledge
induce
several Verb problem
experience
seriouse concequences
, Correct your spelling
serious consequences
such
as pregnancy in teenager
stage, abortion, and infect sex transmitted Correct article usage
the teenager
virus
. Fix the agreement mistake
viruses
Also
, they might not have ability
to Change the article
the ability
tacle
those negative situations, and result in Correct your spelling
tackle
huge
negative Add an article
a huge
the huge
impact
on health Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
condition
or even Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
life-threating
consequences. Correct your spelling
life-threatening
Thus
, the best prevention methold
is to separate their Correct your spelling
method
gender
in different schools.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
separate
Replace the word
separating
students
by their gender
have
some Correct subject-verb agreement
has
benifits
, I still Correct your spelling
benefits
recommand
that Correct your spelling
recommend
sutdents
should study together, since it can Correct your spelling
students
cultural
correct Change the word
culturally
gender
information in students'minds
. On Correct your spelling
students
one
hand, Correct article usage
the one
mixed
Add a hyphen
mixed-gender
gender
school
will Fix the agreement mistake
schools
advoiding
Correct your spelling
avoiding
students
Fix the infinitive
to have
have
Wrong verb form
having
misunerstanding
and Correct your spelling
misunderstanding
misunderstandings
sterotypes
Correct your spelling
stereotypes
to
Change preposition
of
unfamilier
Correct your spelling
unfamiliar
gender
. It
critical Add a verb
It is
It was
for
reduce sexual discrimination in society. Change preposition
to
On the other hand
, mixed gender
schools are more benifits
to Correct your spelling
benefits
students
learn how to cope with different relationships and communicate with different people. Also
, students
Change noun form
students'
student's
sociesal
ability is an Correct your spelling
social
societal
imporatant
element to them in future Correct your spelling
important
envrionments
, Correct your spelling
environments
such
as university, working place
, and daily life.
In conclusion, it is true that Correct your spelling
workplace
separate
Replace the word
separating
students
apart mayAdd a missing verb
be a
a
good prevention for Remove the article
apply
students
fall in love at early
stage, but I believe that mixed Add an article
an early
gender
together outweight
than Correct your spelling
outweighs
separete
Correct your spelling
separate
,
since it can advance their Remove the comma
apply
sociecal
skills and reduce Correct your spelling
social
societal
gender
discrimination.Submitted by huangjiali617 on
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task achievement
It would be helpful to further develop the main points with more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments.
task achievement
Your main ideas are present and clear, but consider elaborating on them more for a stronger argument.
coherence cohesion
Working on transitions between paragraphs would improve the logical flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Double-checking for minor grammatical errors and clearer expression would improve your essay's clarity.
task achievement
You have successfully addressed both views in your essay, providing a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your argument well.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite