Some people believe that teaching children at home is the best for a children's development while others think it is important for children to go to school. Discuss both advantages of each method and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that teaching kids at home is
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
convenient for their
thriveness
Correct your spelling
thrives
while
on the other
hand
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hand,
show examples
some argue that kids must go to
school
. In the following
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
i
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I
show examples
will demonstrate both advantages
each
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of each
show examples
method.
As we
Correct word choice
We
show examples
believe that children
is
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are
show examples
the future generation who have
right
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the right
show examples
to gain knowledge in their
life
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lives
show examples
,
however
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however,
show examples
it will depend on how their
parents
make
desicion
Correct your spelling
decisions
decision
for their learning ways. When they are
on
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in
show examples
their golden age,
parents
provides
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provide
show examples
non-academic learning
such
as attitude and social interaction that will be valuable in their daily
life
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lives
show examples
.
Meanwhile
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Meanwhile,
show examples
when they are grown up it requires academic learning which involves wide knowledge that rarely can be taught by
parents
and
from
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in
show examples
this
case,
school
is made for
this
requirement. Both methods have
its
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their
show examples
merits
due to
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apply
show examples
it cannot be
choosen
Correct your spelling
chosen
one of them as the
children
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children's
show examples
learning method should be
subsequent
Add an article
a subsequent
the subsequent
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thread. In my
opinion
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opinion,
show examples
parents
have to give their children self
knowlede
Correct your spelling
knowledge
that cannot be gained from formal
school
and when they are in the formal
school
this
knowledge
such
as self
awarenes
Correct your spelling
awareness
acts for their ability to socialize with
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
.
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task achievement
The essay could be improved by providing specific examples to support the main points discussed. This will strengthen your arguments and help clarify your stance.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow between paragraphs and ideas, which will make it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and gives an overview of the points to be discussed.
task achievement
The essay provides a reasonable discussion of both educational methods and acknowledges their importance.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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