IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The charts show the percentage of male and female workers in three employment sectors in two countries in 2007.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie chart gives information about male and female members working in three different sections in two countries in 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is visible that in both countries
services
Use synonyms
 sector has the largest proportion of male and female workers. Looking at the details, in country A industry has 15% of male assistants,
while
Linking Words
 from guys the number is about 8%. In agriculture, girls put in more work than gents (43%) than
mens
Correct your spelling
men
show examples
 (about 29%).
However
Linking Words
, the
services
Use synonyms
 part has the largest proportion of male staff members (56%), rather than female (49%).
Moreover
Linking Words
, in country B the smallest percentage of both sides workers was in agriculture (around 3 and 1 percentages).
Furthermore
Linking Words
, masculines are most likely to work in the industry (32%) and
services
Use synonyms
 (65%) decisions
due to
Linking Words
 the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of colleagues. At the same time, ladies
also
Linking Words
 prepare to work in
services
Use synonyms
 piece (49% of workers). But the industry has only 11% of employees.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words services with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: