Some people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries, shop and on public transport, others argue that people should be free to use their mobiles wherever they like.
To
use
the
Correct article usage
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
mobiles
Fix the agreement mistake
mobile
phones
in public places
is nowadays on
of the widely discussed issues. Now Correct your spelling
one
people
are beginning to realize that many adults, especially teenagers to
spend Fix the infinitive
apply
an
extended time Correct article usage
apply
in
the Change preposition
on
internet
using their Capitalize word
Internet
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
,
when they are in Remove the comma
apply
the
public Correct article usage
apply
places
. In this
essay, i
will discuss some reasons why we need to Change the capitalization
I
banned
to Wrong verb form
ban
use
mobile
Change preposition
of mobile
phone
in public Fix the agreement mistake
phones
places
.
Firstly
, it is well known that the
Change preposition
in the
21
century Correct your spelling
21st
on
of the important Correct your spelling
one
thing
for Fix the agreement mistake
things
people
is telephone
. We should know, that where we can Add an article
the telephone
a telephone
use
our phone
, Fix the agreement mistake
phones
hearing
Correct word choice
and hearing
others
Change noun form
others'
other's
opinion
.To Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
use
of our mobile phones
in public places
have
many drawbacks. One of the Correct subject-verb agreement
has
biggets
Correct your spelling
biggest
reasnons
behind Correct your spelling
reasons
reason
that is
distracting
. In public Replace the word
distraction
places
, such
as a library, this
is a big distraction for people
when everything is quiet and calm. Sometimes this
situation results in people
around them having a strong negative impact on their quality.
Furthermore
, public transport is another area where banning mobile phones
would improve the experience for everyone. Many people
use
public transport to relax, think, or even catch up on sleep during their journey. However
, loud phone
conversations or music from mobile devices often disturb the peace, making the ride uncomfortable for others. A ban on phones
would ensure that these spaces remain quiet and more enjoyable for all passengers.
Moreover
, banning mobile phones
in public places
also
promotes access to communication between people
, which is currently the biggest problem. A good example is face-to-face communication, which is almost forgotten when people
interact with the social world. By prohibiting the use
of telephones in social places
, we at least gain the slightest success
In conclusion, taking everything mentiond
into Correct your spelling
mentioned
accouned
in our final analysis we can say that banning mobile Correct your spelling
account
phones
in public places
such
as libraries, shops, and public transport is necessary to maintain a peaceful, respectful environment. Such
a ban would reduce noise and distractions, improve public experiences, and encourage more meaningful social interactions.Submitted by dnm.best on
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task achievement
To improve the task achievement score, consider offering a more balanced view of the argument. Present both sides of the debate and perhaps suggest a compromise or middle ground. This could enhance the depth of your response.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, try to ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Linking sentences at the end of one paragraph and the start of another can enhance the logical flow of your essay.
supported main points
Your arguments could be strengthened with more specific examples or data to support your points. This would make your essay more compelling and convincing.
task achievement
You have clearly presented your stance and provided several points to support your view, which is essential for a strong essay.
introduction conclusion present
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which help guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
The use of paragraphs to organize different ideas is good practice and enhances readability.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.