69.The line chart below shows the percentage of popualtion aged under 5 years old and aged 65 years old or above in the world since 1950 with projection until 2040. The table below shows the projection of the percentage of population aged 65 and above in 2030 and 2040 in different regions. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

#line #percentage #popualtion #years #world #projection #population #regions #information #features #comparisons

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The graph shows significant variation in the number of students on different

courses

Use synonyms

in one adult education college over 30 years, with predicted figures for 2025. The most striking change was in the popularity of Employability

courses

Use synonyms

. In 1985

this

Linking Words

group was only the third most popular but by 2015 it had risen to first position. There was a particularly large increase between 2005 and 2015, rising from 500 to 625 students with

this

Linking Words

figure set to rise to 800 by 2025. Fitness

courses

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

saw

noticeable

Add an article

a noticeable

show examples

improvement in subscription, growing by almost 200 between 1985 and 1995, though the rise became more gradual

after

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

with only 50 added to the total by 2015.

In contrast

Linking Words

, the number of adults studying languages declined, with numbers dropping from 350 in 1985 to 300 in 1995 and 280 in 2005.

However

Linking Words

. the figures levelled off in the following ten years and they are forecast to remain the same in 2025. Art and design

courses

Use synonyms

were the least popular throughout the period, with their numbers fluctuating slightly between 200 and 280.

Submitted by lenochkapopovich on Sun Nov 10 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.

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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.

▼

Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words courses with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

179 words

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