IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The table shows key data on the demographics of four countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table shows key data on the demographics of four countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#data #demographics #four #countries #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The given table illustrates information about demographics in various nations namely,
China
,Russia,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 and
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
. It is
clearly
Change the word
clear
show examples
 that,
Chaina
Correct your spelling
China
 is the
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
country
has
Correct pronoun usage
that has
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 huge population.The population
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 was the lowest among other countries.GDP for
China
 and Russia were the smaller than
USA
 and
UK
.
To begin
 with,The population of
china
Capitalize word
China
show examples
 was around 1.357 million.The second largest number is
USA
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
approximately 318.875.000.There
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 only 143.986.000,respectively.
while
 the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 citizens in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
just
Add a missing verb
was just
show examples
 64,937,000.The GDP per capita for people in
chain
Add an article
the chain
show examples
 and Russia were very few compared to
another countries
Replace the adjective
another country
other countries
show examples
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
show examples
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
 about (6.8,_14.9).On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 the income in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 and
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 were the
heights
Correct your spelling
highest
show examples
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
 nearly 54 and 42.The expectation for live average in
China
 was exactly 75
years
 old.
In addition
,Russian
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
 expected to live more than 70
years
 old
while
 the rate in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 was just below 70
years
 old.Average life expectancy in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 was higher than others by 18
years
 old.
Submitted by mrym05411 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words china, usa, uk, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic metrics
  • age distribution
  • urbanization levels
  • population growth rates
  • life expectancy
  • birth rates
  • immigration policies
  • economic development
  • geographical size
  • historical factors
  • health care systems
  • infrastructure
  • quality of life
  • proportion
  • population size
What to do next:
Look at other essays: