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Band 4.5

Some people feel that governments should take a large proportion of people’s salaries to pay for necessary public services such as roads and schools. Others feel that high taxes are bad thing. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #governments #proportion #people’s #salaries #services #roads #schools #taxes
Nowadays there is a struggle between
opinons
Correct your spelling
opinions
 about high taxes.
However
, some
people
 think that
higher
Correct article usage
the higher
show examples
 payments in
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 budget the better life conditions they will have, because
this
 budget goes for public needs. Other views are that the bigger
Correct article usage
the precentage
show examples
precentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of
income
 they will pay the
worst
Replace the word
worse
show examples
 for them. In my opinion, it is
clearly
Change the word
clear
show examples
 that we should pay more in order to obtain the better. Some
people
 think that the smaller duty the more money they can save for themselves and take that as
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 advantage for them .
Despite
Correct pronoun usage
Despite this
show examples
, in
case
Add an article
the case
a case
show examples
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 taxation the roads which need repair and public schools which are dependent
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 government financial support will be destroyed and
then
citizens
Change noun form
citizens'
citizen's
show examples
 expenses for
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 and education will increase
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many times.
For example
, the investigation by economists says that in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developing countries with small
taxes
Add a comma
taxes,
show examples
 the biggest
part
 of
income
Correct pronoun usage
their income
show examples
people
 spend on improving basic needs which
already
Add a missing verb
are already
show examples
 given by
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 authority in developed countries,
for instance
, qualified education.
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, there is a
part
 of
people
 which thinks that a large
part
 of their
income
 should be taken by
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 for
society
Change noun form
society's
show examples
 needs. The reason for
this
 is that these citizens understand the role of
this
part
 of
capital
Add an article
the capital
show examples
 in society’s budget which makes
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good changes in their lifestyle. In fact,
psycologists
Correct your spelling
psychologists
psychologist
says
Correct subject-verb agreement
say
show examples
 that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
great
infrustructure
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
 has a
well
Change the adverb
good
show examples
 influence on
person’s
Correct article usage
a person’s
show examples
 life
,
Correct word choice
and, moreover
show examples
moreover
, on his or her
income
. Indeed, it is important for
people
 to understand the need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 large
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of money taken for social prosperity even if they do not want to pay much money. In my opinion, high taxes should be
payed
Correct your spelling
paid
show examples
 in order to
receive
Verb problem
have
show examples
 all
needs
Correct pronoun usage
your needs
show examples
 covered and
for being
Change preposition
to be
show examples
responsable
Correct your spelling
responsible
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 your environment.
Submitted by acaitaz on

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task achievement
Try to provide more precise and detailed examples to strengthen and support each view.
coherence cohesion
Clarify and strengthen the argument for both views by providing better integration between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the essay flows by using more linking words and transition phrases to connect ideas more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Conclusion is clearly expressed and provides a strong viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Introduces both perspectives in an organized manner.
task achievement
The essay addresses the question by discussing both views and provides a personal opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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