IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The table illustrates the police budget in
Use synonyms
million
Fix the agreement mistake
millions
show examples
dollars
Change preposition
of dollars
show examples
, sourced from
national
Add an article
the national
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 government, local taxes, and others
such
Linking Words
 as grants of a British area in 2017 and 2018,
while
Linking Words
 the pie charts give
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about the expenditures of the capital in percentages, covering salaries, technology, and the combination of buildings and transport in the same years.
Overall
Linking Words
, the major capital for police came from
national
Correct article usage
the national
show examples
 government and taxes payers, which the former
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is nearly two times
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the latter
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. Meanwhile, police
department
Fix the agreement mistake
departments
show examples
 spend around three fourth and nearly
two third
Add a hyphen
two-third
show examples
 of
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
 on wages for officers and
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
 in 2017 and 2018, respectively. In 2017,
national
Correct article usage
the national
show examples
 government accounted for 175.5
million
Use synonyms
, which is less
2.3
Change preposition
than 2.3
show examples
million
Use synonyms
than
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2018. In the same period, local
taxes payers
Correct your spelling
taxpayers
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 contributed 91.2
million
Use synonyms
 and 102.3 in 2017 and 2018, respectively. The capital expenditures in the same two years are taken from the
earning
Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
show examples
 of the authority officers and their
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
. From 2017 to 2018, the budget spent on paying wages decreased 6 percentage points from 75% to 69%. In the same period, public facilities
such
Linking Words
 as buildings and transport remained
on
Change preposition
at
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 17%,
while
Linking Words
 technology jumped from 8% to 14%,
increased
Wrong verb form
increasing
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 by 6 percentage points.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such, while".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fiscal allocations
  • Revenue streams
  • Budgetary oversight
  • Expenditure
  • Financial appropriation
  • Government grants
  • Local taxation
  • Operational costs
  • Capital investment
  • Public safety
  • Crime prevention
  • Community policing
  • Resource allocation
  • Year-on-year comparison
  • Budgetary constraints
  • Fiscal year
  • Fund disbursement
  • Budget deficit/surplus
  • Trend analysis
  • Financial sustainability
  • Law enforcement funding
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