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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart shows the percentage of women and men in one Asian country who passed when they took their driving test between 1980 and 2010.

The chart shows the percentage of women and men in one Asian country who passed when they took their driving test between 1980 and 2010.
#percentage #women #men #asian #country #test
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The given bar chart reveals the percentage of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 and
male
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males
show examples
 in a country in Asia who
succeded
Correct your spelling
succeeded
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driving
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in driving
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test
Fix the agreement mistake
tests
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 between 1980 and 2010.
Overall
, both
gender
Fix the agreement mistake
genders
show examples
 had upward trends throughout the period, with more
women
passed
Wrong verb form
passing
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 the
test
 than
men
. In 1980, nearly half
women
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of women
show examples
 passed the
test
,
whereas
 only about one-third
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
men
. In
this
 year,
men
 reached its all-time low at just below 30%. In the next decade, the figure rose by approximately 4% for
women
, and the increase for
men
 was about twice more than that at 38%. In the
last
 two
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
show examples
, almost half of
men
 passed the
test
,
although
 it remained stable in 2010.
On the other hand
, the figure for
women
 dipped between 2000 and 2010. The
most
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
 number of
women
 passing the
test
 was recorded in 2000 with nearly 70%, and in the next ten years, it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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accounted
at
Change preposition
for
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 around 5% lower than that.
Submitted by 000silr111 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words test, women, men with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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