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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart shows the percentage of women and men in one Asian country who passed when they took their driving test between 1980 and 2010.

The chart shows the percentage of women and men in one Asian country who passed when they took their driving test between 1980 and 2010.
#percentage #women #men #asian #country #test
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The given bar chart reveals the percentage of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
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 and
male
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males
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 in a country in Asia who
succeded
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succeeded
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driving
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in driving
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Use synonyms
test
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tests
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 between 1980 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, both
gender
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genders
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 had upward trends throughout the period, with more
women
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passed
Wrong verb form
passing
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 the
test
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 than
men
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. In 1980, nearly half
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women
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of women
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 passed the
test
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 only about one-third
for
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of
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men
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. In
this
Linking Words
 year,
men
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 reached its all-time low at just below 30%. In the next decade, the figure rose by approximately 4% for
women
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, and the increase for
men
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 was about twice more than that at 38%. In the
last
Linking Words
 two
period
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periods
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, almost half of
men
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 passed the
test
Use synonyms
,
although
Linking Words
 it remained stable in 2010.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the figure for
women
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 dipped between 2000 and 2010. The
most
Correct word choice
highest
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 number of
women
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 passing the
test
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 was recorded in 2000 with nearly 70%, and in the next ten years, it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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accounted
at
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for
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 around 5% lower than that.
Submitted by 000silr111 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words test, women, men with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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