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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The line graph gives information about the number of visitors to three London museums between June and September 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The line graph gives information about the number of visitors to three London museums between June and September 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#line #information #visitors #three #london #museums #june #september #summarise #features #comparisons
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The line graph provides input about the amounts of guests in various London museums during summer vacations in 2013.The unit is measured in thousands of visitors.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the diagram that the
last
Linking Words
 month witnessed
sharply growing
Replace the word
sharp growth
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 in all museums.
In addition
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,
British
Correct article usage
the British
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 Museum
has
Wrong verb form
had
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 the highest number of guests
thought
Correct your spelling
throughout
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 the vacation ,
whereas
Linking Words
Science
Correct article usage
the Science
show examples
 Exposition
was
Verb problem
had
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 the lowest one.
According to
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 what is shown,
National
Correct article usage
the National
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 History
fair
Capitalize word
Fair
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 and British show started from
closes
Replace the word
close
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 figures in June.
While
Linking Words
 the British climbed 150 thousand in July
then
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 dropped until reached 500 thousand. National History
wane
Change the verb form
wanes
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 from 550 to 380
then
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 increased slightly to 390.
Finally
Linking Words
 both of them intension in
same
Change the article
the same
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 amount. In terms of the red line,
firstly
Linking Words
 achieved 400000.
Linking Words
Secondly
Add a comma
Secondly,
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 it declined to 37000 visitors.
Thirdly
Linking Words
 it continues
decreased
Change the verb form
to decrease
show examples
 to 300000.As all in
September
Add a comma
September,
show examples
 it rose 150 thousand.
Submitted by gral33jmi on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: The word "amounts" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • line graph
  • illustrates
  • number of visitors
  • museums
  • from June to September 2013
  • the British Museum
  • the Natural History Museum
  • the Science Museum
  • overall trend
  • attracted
  • the most visitors
  • fewest visitors
  • peak
  • experienced fluctuations
  • decline
  • highlight
  • dominance
  • consistent decline
  • minor resurgence
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