Topic: Crime rate in most countries is often higher in urban areas than rural areas. why do you think that is? what can be done to reduce crime rate?

About the reason for higher crime rates in cities than in rural areas,I want to talk about density and mobility
firstly
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first
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.City populations are densely packed and highly mobile,leading to relatively
unfamilar
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unfamiliar
and complex relationships between people.Bad
behavior
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behaviour
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is more easily spread,and the opportunities for crime increase
accordinly
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accordingly
.
Then
I
woule
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would
like to say something about cultural diversity and value conflicts.Cities bring together various cultures and values,leading to value conflicts and confusion,thereby triggering criminal
behavior
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behaviour
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.
About
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As
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some strategies to reduce crime rates,strengthening education and employment
traaining
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training
are
the
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a
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good way.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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Task Achievement
To improve, consider starting with an introductory paragraph that outlines the general issue of crime rates in urban versus rural areas. This will help set the stage for your analysis.
Coherence and Cohesion
Provide a more comprehensive conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates the solutions to ensure the reader takes away a clear message from your essay.
Task Achievement
Include specific examples or case studies to illustrate your points about crime rates and potential solutions. This will make your argument more compelling and grounded.
Task Achievement
You address relevant factors such as population density, cultural diversity, and value conflicts, showing a nuanced understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay attempts to logically link causes of crime with suggestions for remedying these issues, which is effective in maintaining coherence.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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