In many countries today insufficient respect is shown to older people. What do you think may be the reasons for this? What problems might this cause in society?
It has been shown around the globe in recent
time
that seniors do not receive enough respect from younger Fix the agreement mistake
times
people
. The impacts from
Change preposition
of
economy
changes and Replace the word
economic
technology
development play a significant role that Replace the word
technological
affects
youngsters' mindset, and lacking of generosity and humbleness Wrong verb form
affecting
to
older Change preposition
toward
people
can be a concerned issue in a society.
Economy
is one of the impacts that Add an article
The economy
has
an Change the verb form
have
affect
on how young individuals view their Replace the word
effect
ancesters'
perspective as their income Correct your spelling
ancestors'
is obviously incline
more than the Change the verb form
is obviously inclined
ancesters
could obtain in the past. Correct your spelling
ancestors
Consequently
, it is considered as a major revenue in a household where they think it allows them to do whatever they want without respects
toward elderlies. Fix the agreement mistake
respect
Moreover
, technology
improvement enables youngsters to have more capabilities to do something Replace the word
technological
while
older people
have a
limited Correct article usage
apply
knowlodge
to bargain with their children. My niece, Correct your spelling
knowledge
for example
, spent time
on electronic devices a lot till she could give suggestions to her parents but with an impatient Correct quantifier usage
a lot of time
emotion
expression when the parents learnt slowly.
When Replace the word
emotional
people
, both adolescents and adults, lack of
generosity and modesty, they Change preposition
apply
prone
to express their feelings Add a missing verb
are prone
incontrollably
and Correct your spelling
uncontrollably
this
can be seen as a
rudeness and easily judged by Remove the article
apply
a
society. Without Remove the article
apply
an
sufficient respect Remove the article
apply
to
other Change preposition
for
people
, residents will stop caring about others' feelings which it
can lead to a tragedy, at the maximum point. Most Correct pronoun usage
apply
of
East Asia countries seriously take priority of a hierarchy into consideration in order to organise their societies, Change preposition
apply
for instance
. Thus
, the citizens, including Thai residents, can share our
lives living in public together without a catastrophe.
Correct pronoun usage
their
To conclude
, insufficient respect towards elderlies is caused by the change of
Change preposition
in
economy
and Correct article usage
the economy
advancement
of technology nowadays. These have a good chance Correct article usage
the advancement
to damage
societies when adolescents lose their modest characteristics.Change preposition
of damaging
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task achievement
Consider providing a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to outline your main arguments.
task achievement
Make sure each paragraph clearly supports your main thesis with evidence and examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow of ideas. Use linking words to guide the reader through your points more effectively.
task achievement
The essay discusses multiple factors contributing to insufficient respect for older people and their societal impacts.
task achievement
The example of your niece effectively illustrates a point about technology and generational respect.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a suitable introduction and conclusion, which frame the discussion well.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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