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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. ab

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. ab
#bar #ten #countries #production #consumption #electricity #summarise #information #features #comparisons #ab
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The bar chart represents information about ten different nations which used and produced the highest proportion of
electricity
Use synonyms
 in 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, China stayed
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the first place by consuming and manufacturing
electricity
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 and there was
at the end
Linking Words
 of the rank Korea Republic.
Firstly
Linking Words
, almost all of the countries produced more than they used, only
Germany
Change noun form
Germany's
show examples
electricity
Use synonyms
 usage was 582,5
billion
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,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
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this
Linking Words
 country’s light energy manufacturing was only 526,6
billion
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 and China’s was 5,398
billion
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kWh
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electricity
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, China’s residents and government
totally
Replace the word
total
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 used 5,322
billion
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kWh
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. In second place United States,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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consumed much
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
less than they produced, 3,866
billion
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 and 4,099
billion
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. Russia, Japan and India had approximately the same amount.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
following
Verb problem
apply
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three countries
also
Linking Words
 had nearly
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 results on average
550
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of 550
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billion
Use synonyms
kWh
Use synonyms
, Canada, France and Brazil. Republic Korea as the tenth country manufactured 485,1
billion
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 and consumed 449,5
billion
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kWh
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
electricity
Change preposition
of electricity
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 year.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, billion, kwh with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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