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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. nb

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. nb
#bar #ten #countries #production #consumption #electricity #summarise #information #features #comparisons #nb
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The bar chart below gives information about
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
ten
Use synonyms
 counties
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
producing and consuming
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
electricity
Use synonyms
 in 2014.
It is clear that
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 there were
ten
Use synonyms
 countries which compared
electricity
Use synonyms
 from producing and consuming.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the highest
proportion
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
electricity
Use synonyms
 production was
Use synonyms
China
Change preposition
in China
show examples
 and the lowest was
Korea
Correct your spelling
Korean
show examples
 Republic. In there,
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
ten
Use synonyms
 countries which compared from production and consumption of
electricity
Use synonyms
.
China
Use synonyms
,
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States and Russia had
highest
Change the article
the highest
show examples
proportion
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 producing energy and they were one of the first.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 top
ten
Use synonyms
 countries
Korea
Correct your spelling
Korean
show examples
 Republic had the lowest
proportion
Use synonyms
 about 485.1 billion kWh of production
electricity
Use synonyms
. Brazil and Germany had approximately
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 value.
China
Use synonyms
,
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States and Russia had
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
place
Use synonyms
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
 producing from consuming
electricity
Use synonyms
. In there, lowest
proportion
Use synonyms
 of consumption was in
Correct article usage
the Korea
show examples
Korea
Correct your spelling
Korean
show examples
 Republic and Brazil.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Japan
in
Add a missing verb
was in
show examples
forth
Correct your spelling
fourth
show examples
place
Use synonyms
 after him India which replaced fifth
place
Use synonyms
. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first
place
Use synonyms
China
Use synonyms
 with
Use synonyms
proportion
Correct article usage
a proportion
show examples
5,322
Change preposition
of 5,322
show examples
 billion kWh.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "furthermore".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words ten, electricity, proportion, china, place with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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