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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. nb

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. nb
#bar #ten #countries #production #consumption #electricity #summarise #information #features #comparisons #nb
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The bar chart below gives information about
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
ten
 counties
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
producing and consuming
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
electricity
 in 2014.
It is clear that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 there were
ten
 countries which compared
electricity
 from producing and consuming.
Furthermore
, the highest
proportion
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
electricity
 production was
China
Change preposition
in China
show examples
 and the lowest was
Korea
Correct your spelling
Korean
show examples
 Republic. In there,
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
ten
 countries which compared from production and consumption of
electricity
.
China
,
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States and Russia had
highest
Change the article
the highest
show examples
proportion
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 producing energy and they were one of the first.
Moreover
,
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 top
ten
 countries
Korea
Correct your spelling
Korean
show examples
 Republic had the lowest
proportion
 about 485.1 billion kWh of production
electricity
. Brazil and Germany had approximately
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 value.
China
,
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States and Russia had
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
place
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
 producing from consuming
electricity
. In there, lowest
proportion
 of consumption was in
Correct article usage
the Korea
show examples
Korea
Correct your spelling
Korean
show examples
 Republic and Brazil.
Furthermore
, Japan
in
Add a missing verb
was in
show examples
forth
Correct your spelling
fourth
show examples
place
 after him India which replaced fifth
place
. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first
place
China
 with
proportion
Correct article usage
a proportion
show examples
5,322
Change preposition
of 5,322
show examples
 billion kWh.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "furthermore".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words ten, electricity, proportion, china, place with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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